ASO to the kitchen of the FANCY resort/banquet hall i work in: my boss smokes while preparing food, raw chicken sits out for hours, illegals abound, blood pools on wedding cakes and the frosting just gets scraped off, the meat/cheese slicer hasn't been cleaned in months, aerosol cans find a home next to the always hot flat top grill, sanitizer? what? never heard of it, and i, am forced to work 12 hour shifts. HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON?!? wait, shhh! don't say anything, i so need the job :(
SO to anyone who reads this, check your facts before booking your wedding. seriously.
SO to being a math major. It is a perfect concentration for the chronic procrastinator. I'm finally getting around to adding those fall classes, of which they're still all open!
ASO to being a math major. Expected hot girl count in said classes: 0. Cumulative hot girl encounters in said major: 0. Reads like my GPA!
SO to my friend who after hearing that her SO made the 'best of' list said 'i've officially made my summer goal' ASO to being just a little bit too jealous
shoutout to having a great campus job this summer at the library. Soooo much better than working at the mall. ASO to not having a girlfriend. Librarians never get the chicks.
ASO to anyone complaining about not being able to get drunk in their hometowns. a) how did you manage in high school? and b) what is your life like in madison without fake ids?
Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?.
oh, me neither. the daily emails, facebook event, chalkings, magnets we got in our mailboxes, fliers we got in our boxes, etc. just don't tell me enough!
SO to being in North Carolina at a bar that serves over 250 beers and being the only one that knew how to say "Leinenkugels." I was looked upon as a god. ASO to being in a state with a bunch of dumbasses that don't know how to say "Leinenkugels"
ASO to my job saying that if I take my vacation at the end of June there "might not be hours for me" when I get back. Sorry, I wasn't aware that my presence generated time. If I had been, I think I'd have generated my way to a 4.0 and 15 hours of sleep per night.
SO (or ASO?) to my dad for saying my mom looked like a hooker when she was waiting for us on a corner outside of a restaurant. classy, dad, real classy.
ASO to my dad having surgery. Seriously, the one bright spot of my jobless time was supposed to be having the house to myself. Not stuck with him and his effing John Wayne, westerns, WWII and SciFi shit. ASO to thinking the only time I could have the living room was when he was sleeping. Nope, asshole falls asleep on the couch then wakes up & screams every time I change the channel. Anyone looking for a roommie?
"ASO to not having a girlfriend. Librarians never get the chicks."
You're wrong, my friend, so wrong. I would die of joy to date a librarian. SO to me for applying for a library job next semester. Maybe I'll see you, hrm?
ASO to being single and stuck in my hometown for half the summer. Seriously, all the guys I would even consider dating here, I dated already, and the rest are hicks. No, I don't want any venison burgers, Keystone or Skoal, but thanks!
ASO to being woken up to someone banging on one of your doors at 1:30am... I am scared shitless to go outside my bedroom. SO to the locks on my door, crap i am still scared
ASO to also being secret shopped, but at Hollister. SO to the secret shopper randomly being the only person I decided to be extra friendly to all day (obviously I didn't find out who he was until after he left).
SO to my guy friend for describing some girls' vaginas as "steel clad and riveted shut" and going on to say that the "mouth is more...accessible" when i told him that many girls don't like giving head.
SO to dating older guys. Even though I should probably date your son who's closer to my age, there is no way in hell he's going to be as hot as you! Or as great in bed!!
SO to the dude I saw passed out on the grass in front of his house last night around 10 pm covered in glow sticks/bracelets. ASO to the girl trying to help him who told me to "wipe that smirk off my face". Listen here, woman, I'm allowed to laugh at a glow stick loving passed out dude. Especially at 10 P.M on a Tuesday.
ASO to everyone who keeps telling me I look exactly like my mom... who then turn around and tell me how excited my dad gets when they talk about how good my mom still looks. That's just creepy. Yeah, I'm going to go throw up now.
ASO to being single and stuck in my hometown for half the summer. Seriously, all the guys I would even consider dating here, I dated already, and the rest are hicks. No, I don't want any venison burgers, Keystone or Skoal, but thanks!
Don't under-estimate the hicks...they might surprise you, in more "areas" than their hunting collection
ASO to people who ask what we (people who didn't drink, watch porn, etc.) did in high school. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WE DID, ASSHOLE? Most of the things you did minus drinking and watching porn...
"ASO to at least 20% of Obama's supporters. You do know that sympathetically voting for him just because "you think a black person deserves to be president after all these years", is actually racism at its finest. Also, learn some facts if your going to vote... this is actually an important event if you haven't noticed."
also, learn how to spell if you're going to post a shout out...this is actually an important website if you haven't noticed.
SO to swimming. You already did most of the work for me by giving me less clothes to take of the guy in the next lane. ASO to the relatively cold temperature of the water causing some shrinkage. But that hot, steamy shower sure helped get things going.
ASO to the guy who was AMAZING. He was hot, sweet, a redhead, and HIS FAMILY OWNS HORSES. Thanks for not telling me about that whole being engaged thing. Good luck with that there marriage, pal.
ASO to work this past week. Having the truck mysteriously break down and accidently washing the company cell phone with a load of laundry could happen to anyone!! ASO to working for the city and having there be a bunch of horny old men who will be "giving me a tough time" for the rest of my life.
SO to the kid I'm crushing on at said work. Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah! We could have a swingin' time!
ASO to my boss for introducing me to my cute new co-worker from university of indiana as going to school "up at the UWM." first of all, moron, we are east of madison. second, UWM does not = UW-Madison. SO to explaining to cute boy and boss that that was a huge insult and i actually attend UW-Madison, thank you.
ASO to going to college where there was 100+ inches of snow this winter and living in Texas for the summer where it's going to be 100+ degrees for three months straight. Seriously, fuck the weather.
SO to reading the SO's while completely stoned out of your gourd. SO to the word gourd, and the hilarity that is now ensuing because of it in my warped little mind.
SO to there being a possiblility of hail for my aunt's wedding this weekend. maybe you shouldn't have tried to steal the alarm clock with the sound machine from me during last year's christmas gift exchange, bitch.
SO to discovering that I can go a good four days without facebook. And just think, it was only a few weeks ago that I thought I had to check facebook every half hour. I don't konw about you but I feel accomplished and because of that I will now go check facebook...
SO to my friend totally wanting my rocks and wanting to have a one on one drinking party... ASO to me being really good friends with her boyfriend and still wanting to do it.
ASO to jetlag. Two nights ago I went to bed at 6:30 pm, last night it was 9 pm (but only because I forced myself to stay up to watch the laker game). And now I'm waking up far too early for my liking (aka, before 2 pm).
ASO to my teeth for giving me massive headaches from stress causing me to grind my teeth in my sleep. Really? What the fuck do I have to be stressed about in the summer while I am SLEEPING? why must my body ruin summer for me?
ASO to my ex, you're a dickface and i am glad you haven't called. oh, and you SUCKED. here's a hint: google. use it, learn what your hands/mouth/dick/hips/tongue are for, because you have noooo idea
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
"SO to sex with a Latino. So much better than Caucasion men, African American men, Asian men, Women, and everyone in between."
Double shoutout to sex with latinos. Too bad the only latino i landed went back to ecuador and my only other option is a 37 year old brazilian. no thanks.
ASO to coming up with what was potentially the world's greatest shoutout, then getting so excited that there were 11 new posts that I forgot what I was going to write. ASO to the most boring summer of my life.
ASO to my mom for trying to sell my Teddy Ruxpin while I was at work. SO to grabbing him out of some 40year old lady's hands at our garage sale and running up to my room and listening to him read me stories for hours. Yeah I threw a tantrum like my 2 year old cousin, but it was totally worth it. You cannot put a price on my childhood.
SO to all the library boy comments, they are true. But, ASO to my friend w. benefits who works at a library and already gets more girls than one guy should have.
ASO to starting to teach myself Arabic. Obviously a useful language to master, but feeling imminent dread about a class I don't start until September is tainting my summer of laziness.
ASO to my mom walking in on me making out with my boyfriend then deciding it was a good time to give me "the talk". Um, you're a little late on that one- I think I've got it all figured out now. But good for you for finally getting up the nerve to do it... it only took you til I was 21. (Btw, going on the pill 3 years ago should have given you a hint).
SO to learning I can pick up almost anything with my feet... including guys. You, Mr. Creeper-at-the-bar, were unbelievably gorgeous....... until you opened your mouth and told me about your fetish. ASO to you, sir. HUGE ASO.
ASO to my dad for threatening to put me in drug rehab after I said I was my friend's 'supplier'. Had you actually listened to the first 90% of the conversation that you weren't a part of, you would have realized I was talking about going shopping for said friend who busted her leg in 3 places & dislocated her hip when a tornado demolished her house & part of the basement ceiling caved in on her. How about you just go back to your semi-coma on the couch... or pop some adderall and actually stay awake for an entire conversation.
SO to being one of very few to decide to apply to the business school on a whim. well. im not applying for another smester but SO to me regardless
No no! ASO to you! why why why would you want to make the pool that much more competitive for those of us who actually WANT (maybe even need) to get in.
ASO to starting to teach myself Arabic. Obviously a useful language to master, but feeling imminent dread about a class I don't start until September is tainting my summer of laziness.
SO to you. It's a really hard language. Fortunately it's my first and i'm completely fluent if you need any help.
ASO to the Arabic self-teacher because you ASOed Arabic classes . I hope you it takes you 3 months to master the alphabet while everyone is already forming sentences.
SO to the moment you realize learning Arabic was one of the best decisions of your life as it will find it's way into your everyday conversation. Al Hamdu li-llah!
SO to the Texan and Texas weather. The human body shouldn't have to withstand 100 degrees of difference in temperature in one year. I'm completely with you on that. Worst of both worlds. ASO to being from the South because of it's miserably hot summers. SO to impressing all my friends with "Yeah, I've seen over 100 inches of snow!"
SO to really, actually being the best thing that ever happened to your ex. People say it all the time and for me it's really true. Good luck with the 2nd round of rehab bud. I'll be getting a degree at UW.
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
A record number of people will show up to check out books after noon this weekend. ASO to me for probably being one of them, because I want to see how many people have been following that shoutout.
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
1. who the fuck checks out books anymore, especially during the summer? 2. ASO to people who wear the same clothes 2 days in a row, the dirtbags 3. comments were about librarian boys, not girls 4. memorial library sucks
ASO to being a lonely insomniac. Can't I find a nice girl to stay up all night with me?
ASO to being a lonely female insomniac. Did you catch that paid programming special about the Bender Ball at three? (The one where EACH ab sculpting move puts you in the perfect position for RESULTS) Riveting.
I'm sure that together we could think up some other nocturnal activities...
SO for me running for 50 minutes straight in 80+ degree heat. ASO for my dad telling me im packing the fat as i walk in the door after my run. WAY TO KILL THE RUNNERS HIGH fat boy.
ASO to my mom for trying to sell my Teddy Ruxpin while I was at work. SO to grabbing him out of some 40year old lady's hands at our garage sale and running up to my room and listening to him read me stories for hours. Yeah I threw a tantrum like my 2 year old cousin, but it was totally worth it. You cannot put a price on my childhood.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. TEDDY WAS MY FIRST LOVE. and poss. only..
Whoa. Apparently some mixed reviews on the whole "learning Arabic" front. SO to the supportive person, I hope that when I'm in the library studying my ass off this fall you'll be around!
To the other person-- I'm working on an Islamic concentration; I know what Al Hamdu li-llah means. But thanks.
"SO for me running for 50 minutes straight in 80+ degree heat. ASO for my dad telling me im packing the fat as i walk in the door after my run. WAY TO KILL THE RUNNERS HIGH fat boy."
SO to you! Fuck your dad, you look great cuz you're a runner!
ASO to having to run 7 miles tomorrow in what will most likely be 80+ degree heat and thunderstorms. THAT will kill a runner's high...
ASO to my exes bothering me all the time for random hookups. There's a reason we aren't dating anymore. Double ASO to always attracting psychos. Where are the normal guys?
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine. SO to me for stopping her dryers without restarting the cycle and putting bleach in your washers. Let the Laundry Room Wars begin...
So to my dad, after all these comments from people bitching about their dads, it totally makes me appreciate my awesome dad. He's just getting that much nicer of a gift on Sunday.
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine. SO to me for stopping her dryers without restarting the cycle and putting bleach in your washers. Let the Laundry Room Wars begin...
I usually put raw eggs in the dryer whenever that happened to me.
SO to my parents leaving town this weekend. Time to live it up like I was still in Madison! woo!
ASO to the cops busting me and giving all my friends and i underages. Also, ASO to the bitches I kicked out who most likely called the cops, drunken sluts are not allowed here. sorry!
SO to there being 7 cop cars and an ambulance for 10 kids.
SO to my friend Even for always answering my calls when I'm completely drunk. Fear not, I will ALWAYS call you when Gimme More comes on to tell you how much I miss you!
SO to my girlfriend and I finding two boys at the bars and making sweet love not when we were drunk but sober in the morning. Does that mean it was legit or just a drunken hook up? oh the joys of college
ASO to the drunken texts I've been getting. The guy I like can't get the nerve to ask me out on anything better than texts (hello? self respect?) and the guy I don't like keeps sending me really terrible booty texts at 4am like "You want to meet up for dinner and 'desert'?" Yes...he did in fact spell it desert and he did use quotes.
SO to Buster Bluth, the sexiest all-right, mama's boy alive: "I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I can feel good about myself. 'Cause I'm an uptight BLEEP BLEEP, Buster! You old horny slut!"
SO to my friend who drives an "ice cream truck", when it really is a creepy white raper van with ice cream stickers on the side. Why parents actually let their children near that thing is a mystery. Where he found the job: craig's list of course
Shoutout to me using a fake id and having the bouncer apologize for asking for my birthdate and other info because "it's a bad picture on the id", me replying with "not a big deal I get that a lot" and walking into the bar to my roommate screaming feet away from the bouncer "YEAH THE FAKE ID TOTALLY WORKED!!!! WAHHOOO."
Shoutout to the dude in the plaid shorts at the key last night. I wasn't stalking you, I just couldn't think of a good pick up line. Wear the same shorts next weekend and I'll surely pick you up this time!
ASO to all these replies to pre-written shoutouts. Unless you have something incredibly witty and hilarious to add, we don't care if you had the same experience, agree, disagree, or wanna get with the person who wrote it.
SO to tornado season. How I've missed you so. Huge SO to getting some amazing photos and a HUGE adrenaline rush before I had to run back into the house & into the basement.
ASO to the library boy. You had potential until you posted your work schedule. Now you're just a desperate creeper. You can go back to your cheap internet porn because you're probably not getting any for a while, unless there's some girl who is also a desperate creeper and actually went to Memorial to try to get a date.
ASO to working this weekend at an outdoor festival. the fact that you people put me in a 4H building during a tornado warning, decided not to feed us today, and i won't see the paycheck until august makes me want to cry. thanks for that.
but SO to getting paid to sit and talk to my friends for around 50 hours over the past 5 days...
ASO to the vindictive laundry bitches. not getting your laundry out of a SHARED laundry room in a timely manner doesn't justify ruining someone else's clothes. c'mon, we're poor college students and we can't wear booze. on the other hand, raw eggs in the dryer is sort of brilliant.
Bigger ASO to still not having a job despite already being 5 weeks into the summer.
Biggest ASO to having no money left for the rest of the summer because I spent it all in the first 5 weeks of summer and still don't have a job despite already being 5 weeks into the summer.
"aso to not attending your amazing university and feeling like i'm missing out on associating with some witty people."
You may want to hold off with this SO. There is a tribe on the UW campus known as coasties. They make one wonder if it is a ritualistic rite for these people to drop their young on their heads. However, the female of this species is typically easy to bone. A psychological complex makes them very naive, a factor conspiring to improve your chances of receiving non-traditional sexual stimulation (i.e., Cleveland steamers). Good luck, and godspeed.
What's with all the people who don't go to UW. Hey, it was your choice to not go to our AMAZING school, don't try to elbow your way into what little semblance of sanity we have left. If you want to enjoy the shoutouts in all their glory and everything that you miss out on at your school, suck it up and be a Badger, not a wannabe.
SO to the cutie wearing the red wisconsin t-shirt who was setting up for a wedding in O-town! I can only hope you really attend uw and i have a chance of seeing you at school next year. if you were just sporting the logo, boo you!
"SO to my friend Even for always answering my calls when I'm completely drunk. Fear not, I will ALWAYS call you when Gimme More comes on to tell you how much I miss you!"
SO to you. Even though I ALWAYS know that you're drunk when you call, I still pick up the phone. Now that's what I call friendship. Another SO to you for actually listening to Gimme More. I love you for that!!
ASO to the vindictive laundry bitches. not getting your laundry out of a SHARED laundry room in a timely manner doesn't justify ruining someone else's clothes.
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine.
there's a difference between not being "timely" in removing your clothes and someone just plain being as ass and removing it before it's done. think twice before you touch someone's stuff; that person might just be psycho. i'm going to start administering some laundry room justice!
SO to the drunk guy who passed out in the Saxony parking lot this weekend in the midst of torrential rain. I trust the police helped you get home safely!
SO to all of the student library workers. I know you're all sitting at your jobs with nothing to do, reading the shoutouts just like me. Kudos, my friends, kudos.
ASO to that guy who works at Memorial, though. You make us look bad.
SO to meeting a really cute, sweet 24 year old guy at Wandos last week, going out with him a few times and then going over to his place Saturday.
ASO to him confessing the next morning that he is in fact 31 (10 years older than me) and is in the process of getting a divorce. Wow I sure know how to pick the winners!
SO to Wisconsin Girls and Minnesota boys belonging together. ASO to missing my minnesota boy. Just 2 and a half months until we are back in madison babe!
ASO to buying a bottle of wine, sitting on the curb waiting for the bus with it, and then accidentally kicking it over and watching it shatter into a sewer. double ASO to the fact that the bus then didn't come until an hour after it was supposed to. sad day.
ASO to calling my local police dept and having the snotty woman on the other end tell me my phone number is not a cell phone number because it begins like the local land lines. What??? i think I'D know, bitch.
ASO to all these replies to pre-written shoutouts. Unless you have something incredibly witty and hilarious to add, we don't care if you had the same experience, agree, disagree, or wanna get with the person who wrote it.
i totally agree with you... we should go out sometime
ASO to Lake Delton draining into the Wisconsin River...It's just one big mud puddle now. I know this because I went and looked at it in disbelief after work today...sad times.
SO to that drought that was predicted for the summer. You ended up being a lot wetter than I imagined. Now if you could just back out of my basement, that would be grand.
Better yet, if you need somewhere to go, you can leave my basement and go next door... I want to see my asshole neighbor have to paddle a canoe to get through his living room.
SO to going on a 100% sober date where I didn't drive and he paid for dinner. ASO to only knowing drunken Madison hookups. Is it normal to not kiss on the first date these days?
SO to the wisco crew team! DOESNT ANYONE REALIZE THEY WON THE IRA AND ARE THE BEST IN THE COUNTRY?!!!!!!! for shame, and you call yourself badgers. anyways, a ginormous SO to you crew team, you rock my world hardcore.
"You may want to hold off with this SO. There is a tribe on the UW campus known as coasties. They make one wonder if it is a ritualistic rite for these people to drop their young on their heads. However, the female of this species is typically easy to bone. A psychological complex makes them very naive, a factor conspiring to improve your chances of receiving non-traditional sexual stimulation (i.e., Cleveland steamers). Good luck, and godspeed."
SO to the coasties that hate their fellow coasties... yeah, we exist. to you sconnies, dont judge every coastie you meet, some of us may be more than just an easy lay (although sex is never out of the question)
SO to all my friends who go to Iowa and constantly tell me how lucky I am to go to UW. Way to have that "Hawkeye Pride" everyone keeps telling me about. GO BUCKY!!!
ASO to metrosexuals and my broken gaydar. I don't mind when guys wear $300 D&G glasses, but can't they also be obligated to subtly allude to their sexuality in some way?
SO to me and my roommate pondering whether guys wear cups during basketball games while watching the NBA finals, which then proceeded into googling jockstraps and stumbling upon a condom that covers the balls. Just wow.
SO to my buddy, who said in response to others' criticism of Amy Winehouse, "she may be a crack whore but shes my favorite crack whore." True, if you chiseled the makeup off of her face, her head would be the size of a dime. Yes, she may have infestations in her hair. I know she looks like she belongs in Taycheedah, but damn, her music is catchy!
ASO to my mom for getting my academic probation letter from the office of registrar....also ASO to my RA for forwarding the mail to my home. Thank You RA!
ASO to my idiot roommate. I was woken up to you stomping around like a buffalo last night, and then again at 8 AM this morning to you blasting your music. I can't wait till i don't have to live with an inconsiderate bitch anymore!
ASO to ppl in your apartment building who get upset about a little music on a Sat. night at midnight. You live in Madison, WI, on campus during the summer when students have more free time AND its a Saturday night-what the heck do you expect?!?! Lighten up and just join the party especially since we invited you in advance!
SO to the best "that's what she said" in a real life* conversation about food...."I love the taste of food" "I love the texture of food" "I just love putting things in my mouth and swallowing them"....and everyone together....That's What She Said!
*this was a smoke session conversation, clearly due to the topic being discussed
Anonymous said... ASO to the guy who was AMAZING. He was hot, sweet, a redhead, and HIS FAMILY OWNS HORSES. Thanks for not telling me about that whole being engaged thing. Good luck with that there marriage, pal.
June 5, 2008 7:47 PM
SO to being this AMAZING Guy's fiancee'and girlfriend of over 5 years! Who is also amazing in bed.
SO to shaving my passed out roomate's eyebrow off. ASO to him waking up and getting pissed and trying to fight me. You were a fun (although admittedly very drunk) punching bag. Double ASO to you for calling the cops, and then running away. I now have a domestic assault on my record, because we live together. Fuck that.
SO to my 40 year old boss who was giving my 17 year old co-worker advice on growing marijuana. Now how 'bout bringing some weed to share since you know you don't pay us enough.
ASO to there being an armed robbery less than a block away from my house on sunday night. i was wondering why there were 4 cop cars out there on monday morning...hope the kid who got SHOT is okay...
I know this has been discussed in detail, but SO to being a librarian for the summer in my hometown. I love shamelessly flirting with MILFs that come in while their husbands are at work and kids are off finding picturebooks.
MILF/Cougar: Can you guide me to the nonfiction section?
Me: Sure. I would recommend examining the voluminous works of Long Rod von Hugendong. You can find him in my pants. He has the uncanny ability to turn wild fantasy into reality. Giggity!
ASO to taking a language this summer. Big mistake! No me gusta! After just turning 21 in May all the temptations of a Madison summer... slowly consuming me.
ASO to having each and everyone single one of my shoutouts denied by the controller, by being on probation, losing my job, not getting any sex this summer, and having my car break down, shoutouts were the one thing keeping me going
aso to my fiance yelling at me for getting his sheets wet. we had sex and then passed out - did you think the hotness of our sack session would EVAPORATE the mess we made?! dumbass.
RE: SO to meeting a really cute, sweet 24 year old guy at Wandos last week, going out with him a few times and then going over to his place Saturday.
ASO to him confessing the next morning that he is in fact 31 (10 years older than me) and is in the process of getting a divorce. Wow I sure know how to pick the winners!>>
FYI this dude totally creeps on my friends and one of them was stupid enough to "fall for him." he is 31 but he's not getting a divorce. his friends (who were around and creepy too) told us it's lie and were surprised he said it... creeeep
ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem. ASO to not be being able to find a hot guy I can date that can also satisfy my sexual needs!
"ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem." You think this is a problem?! ASO to being in the exact same situation as you, except living in an apartment with super thin walls and having to make up utterly rediculous excuses for any noises that come out of my room
ASO to doing all of the stereotypical "college" things for AFTER graduation. in the last three weeks, I had a drunken one night stand I could barely remember, I lost my ID, and I got walked in on mid-hook-up.
"ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem. ASO to not be being able to find a hot guy I can date that can also satisfy my sexual needs!"
At the risk of sounding like the biggest creeper ever, come talk to me.
"SO to the cutie wearing the red wisconsin t-shirt who was setting up for a wedding in O-town!"
so to knowing where said O-town is. did you see the pic on cnn, abc, fox, and yahoo of the storm coming in? looks like a scene from a horror movie. hopefully that wedding wasnt outdoors...
ASO to Six Flags. Exactly who on your staff thought it'd be a good idea to play two songs - "Beautiful Girls" and "Unwritten" - over and over and over throughout the park ALL DAY?
SO to all the little kids who probably asked their parents what "suuuuicidal" meant.
ASO to the old creepers hitting on me while I was trying to help sandbag a levee. SO to the really hot guys there and showing off with my super strong arms (those 9 weeks of crutches were finally good for something) and getting a date with a guy before I realized I could lift more than he could. Does the fact that he's unbelievably gorgeous make it okay that I'm stronger than him?
hahaha...SO to the girl who is bragging that the "AMAZING" redhead who owns horses is actually *her* fiance. Um honey, did you miss that whole part about him cheating on you?
"SO to reading about Lake Delton flooding. RUIN THE DELLS!! RUIN IT!!
...I worked in the Dells for five summers. Just a little vindictive."
ASO to you. Lake Delton is not flooding (it just drained into the WI river)..the dells is not flooding..nothing is wrong with the dells itself..Tommy Bartlett's will still go on with a sky and stage show just not a ski show..yes the dells is open for business so come and spend money so I can get more hours, make more money, and pay for my education at the UW! I don't care if you've worked in the dells for five summers and you thought it sucked. It's how I get a paycheck since it's not possible to find seasonal work with lots of hours in my town.
By the way..yes I know this is a reply to a post and it's not necessarily witty, but it had to be said so SO controller, please post this!
SO to the cute boy in the DoIT Tech Store. Soon I'll get up the courage to say hi to you on our way into work one morning, but until then I'll just keep volunteering for all my department's purchasing errands. I'd give you my Req. # any day...
"ASO to the lack of cute guys working at the UW hospital. I need something to entertain me while I waste my summer inside giving people sponge baths!
Love, a bored and lonely CNA"
That's because all the fine gentlemen in healthcare, like me, work in the ER at Meriter. We're too busy saving lives...and having grandmas pinch our asses, babe.
208 comments:
1 – 200 of 208 Newer› Newest»ASO to the kitchen of the FANCY resort/banquet hall i work in: my boss smokes while preparing food, raw chicken sits out for hours, illegals abound, blood pools on wedding cakes and the frosting just gets scraped off, the meat/cheese slicer hasn't been cleaned in months, aerosol cans find a home next to the always hot flat top grill, sanitizer? what? never heard of it, and i, am forced to work 12 hour shifts. HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON?!? wait, shhh! don't say anything, i so need the job :(
SO to anyone who reads this, check your facts before booking your wedding. seriously.
SO to Noah Herron. How BA do you have to be to unscrew a bedpost and beat the shite outta the burgler in your house?
"SO to not swallowing eh?I'm so gonna say it....
That's what she said!"
SO to you! I was going to go there, but I'm glad to see you did already! Haha
SO to the cookie truck thing that magically appeared on library mall today.. amazing. where did this come from?!
huge ASO to getting mystery shopped at Coldstone and receiving the lowest customer service score.
who mystery shops a CREAMERY, that is what i would like to know.
SO to being a math major. It is a perfect concentration for the chronic procrastinator. I'm finally getting around to adding those fall classes, of which they're still all open!
ASO to being a math major. Expected hot girl count in said classes: 0. Cumulative hot girl encounters in said major: 0. Reads like my GPA!
SO to my friend who after hearing that her SO made the 'best of' list said 'i've officially made my summer goal'
ASO to being just a little bit too jealous
ASO to facebook's people you may known suggesting I friend my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Real classy Facebook, really.
shoutout to having a great campus job this summer at the library. Soooo much better than working at the mall.
ASO to not having a girlfriend. Librarians never get the chicks.
Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?.
SO to my sister for being so addicted to Wii that she brought it to the hospital with her for an overnight stay.
ASO to anyone complaining about not being able to get drunk in their hometowns. a) how did you manage in high school? and b) what is your life like in madison without fake ids?
ASO to a Wisconsin post office only having Minnesota stamps available for purchase.
Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?.
oh, me neither. the daily emails, facebook event, chalkings, magnets we got in our mailboxes, fliers we got in our boxes, etc. just don't tell me enough!
SO to being in North Carolina at a bar that serves over 250 beers and being the only one that knew how to say "Leinenkugels." I was looked upon as a god. ASO to being in a state with a bunch of dumbasses that don't know how to say "Leinenkugels"
ASO to my job saying that if I take my vacation at the end of June there "might not be hours for me" when I get back. Sorry, I wasn't aware that my presence generated time. If I had been, I think I'd have generated my way to a 4.0 and 15 hours of sleep per night.
huge ASO to getting mystery shopped at Coldstone and receiving the lowest customer service score.
who mystery shops a CREAMERY, that is what i would like to know.
gee, I can't understand how you would get a low score.
ASO to all my friends turning 21 this year. i hate you. ASO to turning 21 2nd semester of my senior year. ugh.
SO (or ASO?) to my dad for saying my mom looked like a hooker when she was waiting for us on a corner outside of a restaurant. classy, dad, real classy.
ASO to my dad having surgery. Seriously, the one bright spot of my jobless time was supposed to be having the house to myself. Not stuck with him and his effing John Wayne, westerns, WWII and SciFi shit.
ASO to thinking the only time I could have the living room was when he was sleeping. Nope, asshole falls asleep on the couch then wakes up & screams every time I change the channel. Anyone looking for a roommie?
ASO to the ex who texted me 'call me so i get get it juicy for ya' tonight. you wanted to be friends? well that's shot to hell now.
"ASO to not having a girlfriend. Librarians never get the chicks."
You're wrong, my friend, so wrong. I would die of joy to date a librarian. SO to me for applying for a library job next semester. Maybe I'll see you, hrm?
ASO to being single and stuck in my hometown for half the summer. Seriously, all the guys I would even consider dating here, I dated already, and the rest are hicks. No, I don't want any venison burgers, Keystone or Skoal, but thanks!
ASO to being woken up to someone banging on one of your doors at 1:30am... I am scared shitless to go outside my bedroom.
SO to the locks on my door, crap i am still scared
ASO to also being secret shopped, but at Hollister.
SO to the secret shopper randomly being the only person I decided to be extra friendly to all day (obviously I didn't find out who he was until after he left).
SO to my guy friend for describing some girls' vaginas as "steel clad and riveted shut" and going on to say that the "mouth is more...accessible" when i told him that many girls don't like giving head.
Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?.
AHAHAHAAAAA
ASO to being a math major. Expected hot girl count in said classes: 0. Cumulative hot girl encounters in said major: 0. Reads like my GPA!
There's no hot guys either, my friend. Which is why I switched to finance.
SO to dating older guys. Even though I should probably date your son who's closer to my age, there is no way in hell he's going to be as hot as you! Or as great in bed!!
Another SO for us being together for 2 years now.
SO to the cookie truck thing that magically appeared on library mall today.. amazing. where did this come from?!
WHAT
SO to state st construction looking like an effed up beach after those storms this morning..
SO to the dude I saw passed out on the grass in front of his house last night around 10 pm covered in glow sticks/bracelets. ASO to the girl trying to help him who told me to "wipe that smirk off my face". Listen here, woman, I'm allowed to laugh at a glow stick loving passed out dude. Especially at 10 P.M on a Tuesday.
ASO to everyone who keeps telling me I look exactly like my mom... who then turn around and tell me how excited my dad gets when they talk about how good my mom still looks. That's just creepy. Yeah, I'm going to go throw up now.
ASO to still not knowing where I'm living next year. SO to UW for letting me into their school despite how irresponsible I am.
librarian boy calllllllll meeeeee ;)
ASO to not having a girlfriend. Librarians never get the chicks.
So which library are you at? Seriously, I would kill for a librarian bf. Serioulsy.
ASO to being single and stuck in my hometown for half the summer. Seriously, all the guys I would even consider dating here, I dated already, and the rest are hicks. No, I don't want any venison burgers, Keystone or Skoal, but thanks!
Don't under-estimate the hicks...they might surprise you, in more "areas" than their hunting collection
ASO to people who ask what we (people who didn't drink, watch porn, etc.) did in high school. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK WE DID, ASSHOLE? Most of the things you did minus drinking and watching porn...
"ASO to at least 20% of Obama's supporters. You do know that sympathetically voting for him just because "you think a black person deserves to be president after all these years", is actually racism at its finest. Also, learn some facts if your going to vote... this is actually an important event if you haven't noticed."
also, learn how to spell if you're going to post a shout out...this is actually an important website if you haven't noticed.
SO to eating cereal instead of working out. Mmmmmmm cereal.
SO to every girl who wants a librarian boy. You all know exactly where the loving's at!
SO to swimming. You already did most of the work for me by giving me less clothes to take of the guy in the next lane.
ASO to the relatively cold temperature of the water causing some shrinkage. But that hot, steamy shower sure helped get things going.
ASO to the guy who was AMAZING. He was hot, sweet, a redhead, and HIS FAMILY OWNS HORSES. Thanks for not telling me about that whole being engaged thing. Good luck with that there marriage, pal.
ASO to work this past week. Having the truck mysteriously break down and accidently washing the company cell phone with a load of laundry could happen to anyone!! ASO to working for the city and having there be a bunch of horny old men who will be "giving me a tough time" for the rest of my life.
SO to the kid I'm crushing on at said work. Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah! We could have a swingin' time!
"ASO to all my friends turning 21 this year. i hate you. ASO to turning 21 2nd semester of my senior year. ugh."
I see we share hell together. wanna get a juicebox sometime?
ASO to my boss for introducing me to my cute new co-worker from university of indiana as going to school "up at the UWM." first of all, moron, we are east of madison. second, UWM does not = UW-Madison. SO to explaining to cute boy and boss that that was a huge insult and i actually attend UW-Madison, thank you.
SO to my parents leaving town this weekend. Time to live it up like I was still in Madison! woo!
"SO to eating cereal instead of working out. Mmmmmmm cereal."
ASO to eating ice cream instead of working out, haha. But I bet mine tasted better.
ASO to going to college where there was 100+ inches of snow this winter and living in Texas for the summer where it's going to be 100+ degrees for three months straight. Seriously, fuck the weather.
SO to coloring ... And I'm a guy!
ASO to my friend who requested a 2girls1cup cake for his birthday...that brings a whole new meaning to chocolate swirl
SO to reading the SO's while completely stoned out of your gourd. SO to the word gourd, and the hilarity that is now ensuing because of it in my warped little mind.
am i the only one who doesn't want to date a librarian?
"Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?."
i don't think anyone should tell you. if you haven't figured it out yet at all, you really don't deserve my tickets.
ASO to the coal plant... Why must you make a bunch of annoying sounds at 2 am and still make all said annoying sounds as I type?
SO to there being a possiblility of hail for my aunt's wedding this weekend. maybe you shouldn't have tried to steal the alarm clock with the sound machine from me during last year's christmas gift exchange, bitch.
ASO to the ex who texted me 'call me so i get get it juicy for ya' tonight. you wanted to be friends? well that's shot to hell now.
ahahaha. i love you MH. just fall asleep to him getting butt sexed again...!
SO to not going to Wisconsin, but loving the shout outs all the same
SO to my boss and I bonding over our love for Ice Road Truckers. ASO to both of us being so lame.
SO to discovering that I can go a good four days without facebook. And just think, it was only a few weeks ago that I thought I had to check facebook every half hour. I don't konw about you but I feel accomplished and because of that I will now go check facebook...
SO to my friend totally wanting my rocks and wanting to have a one on one drinking party... ASO to me being really good friends with her boyfriend and still wanting to do it.
"I see we share hell together. wanna get a juicebox sometime?"
SO to this reminding me of Arrested Development, the greatest television show ever.
"Unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook."
ASO to jetlag. Two nights ago I went to bed at 6:30 pm, last night it was 9 pm (but only because I forced myself to stay up to watch the laker game). And now I'm waking up far too early for my liking (aka, before 2 pm).
Shoutout to shoutouts for teaching me that apparently being a guy who works at a library turns girls on. one more reason that my job rules.
ASO to my teeth for giving me massive headaches from stress causing me to grind my teeth in my sleep. Really? What the fuck do I have to be stressed about in the summer while I am SLEEPING? why must my body ruin summer for me?
SO to Charley's. I love you and your gourmet fries. Mmmmm.
"am i the only one who doesn't want to date a librarian?" Yes. Yes you are.
SO to the librarian boy. I have late fees I still haven't paid. I've been a bad bad girl. You should punish me. Hard.
"Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?."
"i don't think anyone should tell you. if you haven't figured it out yet at all, you really don't deserve my tickets."
Apparently sarcasm isn't your strongest asset?
"ASO to the coal plant... Why must you make a bunch of annoying sounds at 2 am and still make all said annoying sounds as I type?"
SO to BL. It's nice to know you haven't blown yourself all to hell at that place...yet.
SO to sex with a Latino. So much better than Caucasion men, African American men, Asian men, Women, and everyone in between.
"Does anyone know when the student football ticket request period is? I haven't heard about it anywhere?."
i don't think anyone should tell you. if you haven't figured it out yet at all, you really don't deserve my tickets.
-No, YOU don't deserve tickets for not recognizing the copious amounts of sarcasm in that shoutout...fool.
ASO to my roomates for shouting out to my underage sister. ASO to me for being awful at comebacks...Screw You Guys.
ASO to my roomates for shouting out to my underage sister. ASO to me for being awful at comebacks...Screw You Guys.
if you want my come back you should scrape it off your sister's teeth
'"ASO to all my friends turning 21 this year. i hate you. ASO to turning 21 2nd semester of my senior year. ugh."
I see we share hell together. wanna get a juicebox sometime?'
totally! maybe it will take away some of the pain this looooong 1.75 years is going to be.
"I see we share hell together. wanna get a juicebox sometime?"
SO to this reminding me of Arrested Development, the greatest television show ever.
"Unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook."
SO to you for having the same thought I did. and SO to Buster.
ASO to my mother trying to fatten me up during the summer. I didn't gain the freshman 15 during the school year so why would I want to start now?
ASO to the job market. It is taking me forever to find a summer job. I just might have to survive the fall semester without textbooks and food.
ASO to my ex, you're a dickface and i am glad you haven't called. oh, and you SUCKED. here's a hint: google. use it, learn what your hands/mouth/dick/hips/tongue are for, because you have noooo idea
ASO to being a lonely insomniac. Can't I find a nice girl to stay up all night with me?
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
"SO to sex with a Latino. So much better than Caucasion men, African American men, Asian men, Women, and everyone in between."
Double shoutout to sex with latinos. Too bad the only latino i landed went back to ecuador and my only other option is a 37 year old brazilian. no thanks.
SO to my neighbor guys for blaring and screaming "Im gonna make a supersonic man outta you". I hope you know its a song about being ragingly gay....
ASO to coming up with what was potentially the world's greatest shoutout, then getting so excited that there were 11 new posts that I forgot what I was going to write.
ASO to the most boring summer of my life.
ASO to my mom for trying to sell my Teddy Ruxpin while I was at work.
SO to grabbing him out of some 40year old lady's hands at our garage sale and running up to my room and listening to him read me stories for hours. Yeah I threw a tantrum like my 2 year old cousin, but it was totally worth it. You cannot put a price on my childhood.
SO to all the library boy comments, they are true.
But, ASO to my friend w. benefits who works at a library and already gets more girls than one guy should have.
SO to sex with a Latino. So much better than Caucasion men, African American men, Asian men, Women, and everyone in between.
uh, have you really had sex with all of those that you listed??
ASO to starting to teach myself Arabic. Obviously a useful language to master, but feeling imminent dread about a class I don't start until September is tainting my summer of laziness.
ASO to my mom walking in on me making out with my boyfriend then deciding it was a good time to give me "the talk".
Um, you're a little late on that one- I think I've got it all figured out now. But good for you for finally getting up the nerve to do it... it only took you til I was 21. (Btw, going on the pill 3 years ago should have given you a hint).
SO to being one of very few to decide to apply to the business school on a whim. well. im not applying for another smester but SO to me regardless
SO to learning I can pick up almost anything with my feet... including guys.
You, Mr. Creeper-at-the-bar, were unbelievably gorgeous....... until you opened your mouth and told me about your fetish. ASO to you, sir. HUGE ASO.
ASO to my dad for threatening to put me in drug rehab after I said I was my friend's 'supplier'. Had you actually listened to the first 90% of the conversation that you weren't a part of, you would have realized I was talking about going shopping for said friend who busted her leg in 3 places & dislocated her hip when a tornado demolished her house & part of the basement ceiling caved in on her.
How about you just go back to your semi-coma on the couch... or pop some adderall and actually stay awake for an entire conversation.
SO to being one of very few to decide to apply to the business school on a whim. well. im not applying for another smester but SO to me regardless
No no! ASO to you! why why why would you want to make the pool that much more competitive for those of us who actually WANT (maybe even need) to get in.
ASO to starting to teach myself Arabic. Obviously a useful language to master, but feeling imminent dread about a class I don't start until September is tainting my summer of laziness.
SO to you. It's a really hard language. Fortunately it's my first and i'm completely fluent if you need any help.
ASO to the Arabic self-teacher because you ASOed Arabic classes . I hope you it takes you 3 months to master the alphabet while everyone is already forming sentences.
SO to the moment you realize learning Arabic was one of the best decisions of your life as it will find it's way into your everyday conversation. Al Hamdu li-llah!
ASO to my friend, the biggest mooch ever. Probably would have been a better idea to get a ride BEFORE getting off the bus.
SO to the Texan and Texas weather. The human body shouldn't have to withstand 100 degrees of difference in temperature in one year. I'm completely with you on that. Worst of both worlds. ASO to being from the South because of it's miserably hot summers. SO to impressing all my friends with "Yeah, I've seen over 100 inches of snow!"
SO to really, actually being the best thing that ever happened to your ex. People say it all the time and for me it's really true. Good luck with the 2nd round of rehab bud. I'll be getting a degree at UW.
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
A record number of people will show up to check out books after noon this weekend. ASO to me for probably being one of them, because I want to see how many people have been following that shoutout.
SO to all the response re: librarian love. If you'd like to know who I am come to Memorial Library and check out a book after 12 noon on Saturday or Sunday this weekend. I'll have my red hoodie on (I would have bells on, but i don't own any).
1. who the fuck checks out books anymore, especially during the summer?
2. ASO to people who wear the same clothes 2 days in a row, the dirtbags
3. comments were about librarian boys, not girls
4. memorial library sucks
ASO to the librarian boy who gave out his work schedule. Seriously?
ASO to tornadoes and being home all by myself. The only thing getting me through: shoutouts.
ASO to hanging out with high schoolers because i have no friends here and am lonely as fuck
ASO to crutches. booo.
ASO to being a lonely insomniac. Can't I find a nice girl to stay up all night with me?
ASO to being a lonely female insomniac. Did you catch that paid programming special about the Bender Ball at three? (The one where EACH ab sculpting move puts you in the perfect position for RESULTS) Riveting.
I'm sure that together we could think up some other nocturnal activities...
SO for me running for 50 minutes straight in 80+ degree heat. ASO for my dad telling me im packing the fat as i walk in the door after my run. WAY TO KILL THE RUNNERS HIGH fat boy.
ASO to my mom for trying to sell my Teddy Ruxpin while I was at work.
SO to grabbing him out of some 40year old lady's hands at our garage sale and running up to my room and listening to him read me stories for hours. Yeah I threw a tantrum like my 2 year old cousin, but it was totally worth it. You cannot put a price on my childhood.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. TEDDY WAS MY FIRST LOVE. and poss. only..
Whoa. Apparently some mixed reviews on the whole "learning Arabic" front. SO to the supportive person, I hope that when I'm in the library studying my ass off this fall you'll be around!
To the other person-- I'm working on an Islamic concentration; I know what Al Hamdu li-llah means. But thanks.
ASO to the summer shout outs turning into a personals ad. Seriously, go to craigslist.
"SO for me running for 50 minutes straight in 80+ degree heat. ASO for my dad telling me im packing the fat as i walk in the door after my run. WAY TO KILL THE RUNNERS HIGH fat boy."
SO to you! Fuck your dad, you look great cuz you're a runner!
ASO to having to run 7 miles tomorrow in what will most likely be 80+ degree heat and thunderstorms. THAT will kill a runner's high...
ASO to my exes bothering me all the time for random hookups. There's a reason we aren't dating anymore. Double ASO to always attracting psychos. Where are the normal guys?
SO to Ben&Jerry's cinnamon buns ice cream. ASO to my pint, which melted after I left my groceries in the car in my haste to escape tornadoes. Sad day.
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine. SO to me for stopping her dryers without restarting the cycle and putting bleach in your washers. Let the Laundry Room Wars begin...
So to my dad, after all these comments from people bitching about their dads, it totally makes me appreciate my awesome dad. He's just getting that much nicer of a gift on Sunday.
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine. SO to me for stopping her dryers without restarting the cycle and putting bleach in your washers. Let the Laundry Room Wars begin...
I usually put raw eggs in the dryer whenever that happened to me.
SO to living on a hill during a flash flood warning.
SO to my parents leaving town this weekend. Time to live it up like I was still in Madison! woo!
ASO to the cops busting me and giving all my friends and i underages. Also, ASO to the bitches I kicked out who most likely called the cops, drunken sluts are not allowed here. sorry!
SO to there being 7 cop cars and an ambulance for 10 kids.
SO to my friend Even for always answering my calls when I'm completely drunk. Fear not, I will ALWAYS call you when Gimme More comes on to tell you how much I miss you!
SO to K from Cairo. the food is a hell of a lot better back home
SO to my girlfriend and I finding two boys at the bars and making sweet love not when we were drunk but sober in the morning. Does that mean it was legit or just a drunken hook up? oh the joys of college
ASO to the drunken texts I've been getting.
The guy I like can't get the nerve to ask me out on anything better than texts (hello? self respect?) and the guy I don't like keeps sending me really terrible booty texts at 4am like "You want to meet up for dinner and 'desert'?" Yes...he did in fact spell it desert and he did use quotes.
SO to Buster Bluth, the sexiest all-right, mama's boy alive:
"I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I can feel good about myself. 'Cause I'm an uptight BLEEP BLEEP, Buster! You old horny slut!"
SO to my friend who drives an "ice cream truck", when it really is a creepy white raper van with ice cream stickers on the side. Why parents actually let their children near that thing is a mystery. Where he found the job: craig's list of course
SO to hearing about all the drinking tickets, detox visits, and nabbed fake ids from high school buddies during a weekend back in the hometown
Shoutout to me using a fake id and having the bouncer apologize for asking for my birthdate and other info because "it's a bad picture on the id", me replying with "not a big deal I get that a lot" and walking into the bar to my roommate screaming feet away from the bouncer "YEAH THE FAKE ID TOTALLY WORKED!!!! WAHHOOO."
Shoutout to our asshole neighbors.
Call me when you want to cuddle. You know our numbers.
Shoutout to the dude in the plaid shorts at the key last night. I wasn't stalking you, I just couldn't think of a good pick up line. Wear the same shorts next weekend and I'll surely pick you up this time!
SO to Freddy Mercury. I feel like I was born in the wrong generation, but I still love Queen!
ASO to all these replies to pre-written shoutouts. Unless you have something incredibly witty and hilarious to add, we don't care if you had the same experience, agree, disagree, or wanna get with the person who wrote it.
SO to tornado season. How I've missed you so.
Huge SO to getting some amazing photos and a HUGE adrenaline rush before I had to run back into the house & into the basement.
ASO to the library boy. You had potential until you posted your work schedule. Now you're just a desperate creeper. You can go back to your cheap internet porn because you're probably not getting any for a while, unless there's some girl who is also a desperate creeper and actually went to Memorial to try to get a date.
ASO to working this weekend at an outdoor festival. the fact that you people put me in a 4H building during a tornado warning, decided not to feed us today, and i won't see the paycheck until august makes me want to cry. thanks for that.
but SO to getting paid to sit and talk to my friends for around 50 hours over the past 5 days...
ASO to the vindictive laundry bitches. not getting your laundry out of a SHARED laundry room in a timely manner doesn't justify ruining someone else's clothes. c'mon, we're poor college students and we can't wear booze.
on the other hand, raw eggs in the dryer is sort of brilliant.
so for all of the shoutouts that literally make me laugh out loud. keep 'em comin.
aso to not attending your amazing university and feeling like i'm missing out on associating with some witty people.
ASO to being single in a shit-ass town all summer with no one to do
SO to sex and the city convincing me of the joys of a certain toy, and realizing that i can never be bored (and unpleasured) ever again
SO to my sister who tried to rap and came out with this:
you are a BEEP!
and your face looks like BEEP!
and your mum is a SHEEP!
rapping is obviously not a talent of hers, bless.
ASO to already being 5 weeks into the summer.
Bigger ASO to still not having a job despite already being 5 weeks into the summer.
Biggest ASO to having no money left for the rest of the summer because I spent it all in the first 5 weeks of summer and still don't have a job despite already being 5 weeks into the summer.
SO to the people complaining about the attractiveness of the math department. Y'all are just two years too late.
SO to all the AD shoutouts...I thought i was the only one obsessed with that show's hilarity.
SO to trying to drug a narcoleptic stripper...
"aso to not attending your amazing university and feeling like i'm missing out on associating with some witty people."
You may want to hold off with this SO. There is a tribe on the UW campus known as coasties. They make one wonder if it is a ritualistic rite for these people to drop their young on their heads. However, the female of this species is typically easy to bone. A psychological complex makes them very naive, a factor conspiring to improve your chances of receiving non-traditional sexual stimulation (i.e., Cleveland steamers). Good luck, and godspeed.
What's with all the people who don't go to UW. Hey, it was your choice to not go to our AMAZING school, don't try to elbow your way into what little semblance of sanity we have left. If you want to enjoy the shoutouts in all their glory and everything that you miss out on at your school, suck it up and be a Badger, not a wannabe.
SO to the cutie wearing the red wisconsin t-shirt who was setting up for a wedding in O-town! I can only hope you really attend uw and i have a chance of seeing you at school next year. if you were just sporting the logo, boo you!
SO to farting all day at the law firm I work at - those lawyers don't know what's hitting em.
SO to reading these summer shout outs on my laptop while taking a shit. This I could not have done in the dorms! and yet I still miss you Madison..
"SO to my friend Even for always answering my calls when I'm completely drunk. Fear not, I will ALWAYS call you when Gimme More comes on to tell you how much I miss you!"
SO to you. Even though I ALWAYS know that you're drunk when you call, I still pick up the phone. Now that's what I call friendship. Another SO to you for actually listening to Gimme More. I love you for that!!
SO to everyone who showed up to our cookout in spite of the tornado warning and intermittent rain. You really showed your commitment to good times!
ASO to the vindictive laundry bitches. not getting your laundry out of a SHARED laundry room in a timely manner doesn't justify ruining someone else's clothes.
ASO to the girl who took my laundry out of the washers and dryers before they were done, so she could put her own into the machine.
there's a difference between not being "timely" in removing your clothes and someone just plain being as ass and removing it before it's done. think twice before you touch someone's stuff; that person might just be psycho. i'm going to start administering some laundry room justice!
SO to the drunk guy who passed out in the Saxony parking lot this weekend in the midst of torrential rain. I trust the police helped you get home safely!
SO to all of the student library workers. I know you're all sitting at your jobs with nothing to do, reading the shoutouts just like me. Kudos, my friends, kudos.
ASO to that guy who works at Memorial, though. You make us look bad.
SO to hooking up with my TA. ASO to her getting pissed at me about some pictures on facebook and giving me a BC in the class. Where's the love, sugar?
ASO to switching B.C. and now constantly feeling like you're going to cry. Fuck you estrogen. Fuck you.
SO to meeting a really cute, sweet 24 year old guy at Wandos last week, going out with him a few times and then going over to his place Saturday.
ASO to him confessing the next morning that he is in fact 31 (10 years older than me) and is in the process of getting a divorce. Wow I sure know how to pick the winners!
SO to Wisconsin Girls and Minnesota boys belonging together. ASO to missing my minnesota boy. Just 2 and a half months until we are back in madison babe!
ASO to buying a bottle of wine, sitting on the curb waiting for the bus with it, and then accidentally kicking it over and watching it shatter into a sewer. double ASO to the fact that the bus then didn't come until an hour after it was supposed to. sad day.
ASO to calling my local police dept and having the snotty woman on the other end tell me my phone number is not a cell phone number because it begins like the local land lines. What??? i think I'D know, bitch.
ASO to all these replies to pre-written shoutouts. Unless you have something incredibly witty and hilarious to add, we don't care if you had the same experience, agree, disagree, or wanna get with the person who wrote it.
i totally agree with you... we should go out sometime
ASO to Lake Delton draining into the Wisconsin River...It's just one big mud puddle now. I know this because I went and looked at it in disbelief after work today...sad times.
SO to floods. you give me hope that someday when i get home from work i might have a pool in my backyard.
ASO to the dells... you have enough water. give it.
ASO to Taco Bell on State closing ridiculously early every night now. How am I supposed to quench my TB thirst directly following the bars?
Another ASO to Ian's being closed on Sunday in the Summer. Seriously, do you know how much business you're losing?
SO to that drought that was predicted for the summer. You ended up being a lot wetter than I imagined. Now if you could just back out of my basement, that would be grand.
Better yet, if you need somewhere to go, you can leave my basement and go next door... I want to see my asshole neighbor have to paddle a canoe to get through his living room.
SO to going on a 100% sober date where I didn't drive and he paid for dinner. ASO to only knowing drunken Madison hookups. Is it normal to not kiss on the first date these days?
SO to the wisco crew team! DOESNT ANYONE REALIZE THEY WON THE IRA AND ARE THE BEST IN THE COUNTRY?!!!!!!!
for shame, and you call yourself badgers.
anyways, a ginormous SO to you crew team, you rock my world hardcore.
"You may want to hold off with this SO. There is a tribe on the UW campus known as coasties. They make one wonder if it is a ritualistic rite for these people to drop their young on their heads. However, the female of this species is typically easy to bone. A psychological complex makes them very naive, a factor conspiring to improve your chances of receiving non-traditional sexual stimulation (i.e., Cleveland steamers). Good luck, and godspeed."
SO to the coasties that hate their fellow coasties... yeah, we exist.
to you sconnies, dont judge every coastie you meet, some of us may be more than just an easy lay (although sex is never out of the question)
SO to all my friends who go to Iowa and constantly tell me how lucky I am to go to UW. Way to have that "Hawkeye Pride" everyone keeps telling me about.
GO BUCKY!!!
SO to the XM radio station "Ethel" for being the love of my life. It made me so happy to be able to blare Hot Hot Heat without having to put my cd in.
ASO to metrosexuals and my broken gaydar. I don't mind when guys wear $300 D&G glasses, but can't they also be obligated to subtly allude to their sexuality in some way?
SO to reading about Lake Delton flooding. RUIN THE DELLS!! RUIN IT!!
...I worked in the Dells for five summers. Just a little vindictive.
SO to me and my roommate pondering whether guys wear cups during basketball games while watching the NBA finals, which then proceeded into googling jockstraps and stumbling upon a condom that covers the balls. Just wow.
SO to my buddy, who said in response to others' criticism of Amy Winehouse, "she may be a crack whore but shes my favorite crack whore." True, if you chiseled the makeup off of her face, her head would be the size of a dime. Yes, she may have infestations in her hair. I know she looks like she belongs in Taycheedah, but damn, her music is catchy!
ASO to my mom for getting my academic probation letter from the office of registrar....also ASO to my RA for forwarding the mail to my home. Thank You RA!
"You ended up being a lot wetter than I imagined."
That's what she said.
ASO to my idiot roommate. I was woken up to you stomping around like a buffalo last night, and then again at 8 AM this morning to you blasting your music. I can't wait till i don't have to live with an inconsiderate bitch anymore!
ASO to ppl in your apartment building who get upset about a little music on a Sat. night at midnight. You live in Madison, WI, on campus during the summer when students have more free time AND its a Saturday night-what the heck do you expect?!?! Lighten up and just join the party especially since we invited you in advance!
SO to the best "that's what she said" in a real life* conversation about food...."I love the taste of food" "I love the texture of food" "I just love putting things in my mouth and swallowing them"....and everyone together....That's What She Said!
*this was a smoke session conversation, clearly due to the topic being discussed
Anonymous said...
ASO to the guy who was AMAZING. He was hot, sweet, a redhead, and HIS FAMILY OWNS HORSES. Thanks for not telling me about that whole being engaged thing. Good luck with that there marriage, pal.
June 5, 2008 7:47 PM
SO to being this AMAZING Guy's fiancee'and girlfriend of over 5 years! Who is also amazing in bed.
ASO to looking outside and seeing so much pollen flying around it looks like its snowing.
looks like allergies are going to keep me imprisoned in my house today...
SO to finally getting internet privilages back at work, only to check the shoutouts! Work, UW, Shoutouts... I love my life.
SO to shaving my passed out roomate's eyebrow off. ASO to him waking up and getting pissed and trying to fight me. You were a fun (although admittedly very drunk) punching bag. Double ASO to you for calling the cops, and then running away. I now have a domestic assault on my record, because we live together. Fuck that.
SO to my 40 year old boss who was giving my 17 year old co-worker advice on growing marijuana. Now how 'bout bringing some weed to share since you know you don't pay us enough.
ASO to there being an armed robbery less than a block away from my house on sunday night. i was wondering why there were 4 cop cars out there on monday morning...hope the kid who got SHOT is okay...
I know this has been discussed in detail, but SO to being a librarian for the summer in my hometown. I love shamelessly flirting with MILFs that come in while their husbands are at work and kids are off finding picturebooks.
MILF/Cougar: Can you guide me to the nonfiction section?
Me: Sure. I would recommend examining the voluminous works of Long Rod von Hugendong. You can find him in my pants. He has the uncanny ability to turn wild fantasy into reality. Giggity!
ASO to taking a language this summer. Big mistake! No me gusta! After just turning 21 in May all the temptations of a Madison summer... slowly consuming me.
ASO to having each and everyone single one of my shoutouts denied by the controller, by being on probation, losing my job, not getting any sex this summer, and having my car break down, shoutouts were the one thing keeping me going
aso to my fiance yelling at me for getting his sheets wet. we had sex and then passed out - did you think the hotness of our sack session would EVAPORATE the mess we made?! dumbass.
RE: SO to meeting a really cute, sweet 24 year old guy at Wandos last week, going out with him a few times and then going over to his place Saturday.
ASO to him confessing the next morning that he is in fact 31 (10 years older than me) and is in the process of getting a divorce. Wow I sure know how to pick the winners!>>
FYI this dude totally creeps on my friends and one of them was stupid enough to "fall for him." he is 31 but he's not getting a divorce. his friends (who were around and creepy too) told us it's lie and were surprised he said it... creeeep
ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem. ASO to not be being able to find a hot guy I can date that can also satisfy my sexual needs!
"ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem."
You think this is a problem?! ASO to being in the exact same situation as you, except living in an apartment with super thin walls and having to make up utterly rediculous excuses for any noises that come out of my room
ASO to doing all of the stereotypical "college" things for AFTER graduation. in the last three weeks, I had a drunken one night stand I could barely remember, I lost my ID, and I got walked in on mid-hook-up.
I thought I was too old for this stuff!?
"ASO to me, a female, who just cannot be get enough. The copious amounts of porn I watch EVERY day while masturbating is turning into a problem. ASO to not be being able to find a hot guy I can date that can also satisfy my sexual needs!"
At the risk of sounding like the biggest creeper ever, come talk to me.
SO to my small ass town for making national news with our dam that may or may not break
ASO to the dam if it actually breaks, forcing me to paddle a canoe to work
"SO to the cutie wearing the red wisconsin t-shirt who was setting up for a wedding in O-town!"
so to knowing where said O-town is. did you see the pic on cnn, abc, fox, and yahoo of the storm coming in? looks like a scene from a horror movie. hopefully that wedding wasnt outdoors...
ASO to Six Flags. Exactly who on your staff thought it'd be a good idea to play two songs - "Beautiful Girls" and "Unwritten" - over and over and over throughout the park ALL DAY?
SO to all the little kids who probably asked their parents what "suuuuicidal" meant.
ASO to the old creepers hitting on me while I was trying to help sandbag a levee.
SO to the really hot guys there and showing off with my super strong arms (those 9 weeks of crutches were finally good for something) and getting a date with a guy before I realized I could lift more than he could. Does the fact that he's unbelievably gorgeous make it okay that I'm stronger than him?
hahaha...SO to the girl who is bragging that the "AMAZING" redhead who owns horses is actually *her* fiance. Um honey, did you miss that whole part about him cheating on you?
i need a nympho almost as bad as the girl who can't get enough porn while masturbating...
"SO to reading about Lake Delton flooding. RUIN THE DELLS!! RUIN IT!!
...I worked in the Dells for five summers. Just a little vindictive."
ASO to you. Lake Delton is not flooding (it just drained into the WI river)..the dells is not flooding..nothing is wrong with the dells itself..Tommy Bartlett's will still go on with a sky and stage show just not a ski show..yes the dells is open for business so come and spend money so I can get more hours, make more money, and pay for my education at the UW! I don't care if you've worked in the dells for five summers and you thought it sucked. It's how I get a paycheck since it's not possible to find seasonal work with lots of hours in my town.
By the way..yes I know this is a reply to a post and it's not necessarily witty, but it had to be said so SO controller, please post this!
ASO to the lack of cute guys working at the UW hospital. I need something to entertain me while I waste my summer inside giving people sponge baths!
Love, a bored and lonely CNA
ASO to my awkward dad finding an empty condom wrapper in the driveway... then getting a UTI three days later to confirm any suspicions
SO to the cute boy in the DoIT Tech Store. Soon I'll get up the courage to say hi to you on our way into work one morning, but until then I'll just keep volunteering for all my department's purchasing errands. I'd give you my Req. # any day...
SO to dirty google chats with my boyfriend all day... I'm making 10.50 an hour reading elaborate descriptions of what I'll get when I come home. Mmm.
"ASO to the lack of cute guys working at the UW hospital. I need something to entertain me while I waste my summer inside giving people sponge baths!
Love, a bored and lonely CNA"
That's because all the fine gentlemen in healthcare, like me, work in the ER at Meriter. We're too busy saving lives...and having grandmas pinch our asses, babe.
Post a Comment