Best O' Week 4

Biggest ASO ever to having your mom walk into the bathroom as she took off her bathrobe exposing her horribly naked body... WHILE I was jacking off with my laptop playing porno on the towel rack.
"There's no hot water so I was washing myself" has never been so desperately uttered.

SO to making the "Best of" list being the highlight of my summer so thus far.

SO to the Mortal Kombat theme song. Every time I hear it, I want to punch an octogenarian in the face really, REALLY hard. And I know I won't feel remorse for it. Why? Because it's time to "test your might!"

SO to the lady from new york asking me which was bigger, Lake Geneva or Lake Michigan, was that a serious question?

HEY KEUCH!
(so controller please post this. this will probably make her life, we share an unhealthy obsession with shoutouts)

ASO to just having to look up 'octogenarian'.

SO to Bucky. I will always remember being dog-tired after a chem lecture but instantly perking up, when I saw you skipping with a pink balloon in hand, high-fiving students as they walked between lecture. You are my favorite pantless mammal.

ASO to the target cashier for cheerfully wishing me a good day. i bought one item, a pregnancy test. Really? REALLY? double ASO to the awkward apologetic glance she gave me after i stared at her in disbelief

SO to LOST. You have impregnated me with the seeds of mystery and doubt, and unfortunately, like any good pregnancy, there's going to be pain, agony, and weird cravings until a new episode airs in 9 months

SO to the song "I kissed a girl"....when it came on 3 girls started making out with each other at the party I was at. Why didn't this song come out sooner!?

SO to my guest lecture at my former high school to a sophomore history class devolving into a Q&A about drinking in Madison. I'm not sure how we went from the Prophet Muhammad to Spotted Cow, but it may be the only time in history they have been part of the same discussion.

Any girl who tries to get their boyfriend to see the Sex and the City movie is getting an Xbox for Valentine's day
you have been warned, female population

"SO to milkshakes. Mine may not bring all the boys to the yard, but it's still better than yours!"
ASO to not telling me where you got your time machine to go three years in the past to post this shoutout

ASO to having some of my old high school teachers come up on facebook's "People You May Know." Inappropriate.

so to shaking off a creeper at the bar by tellng him I couldn't have sex with him because I haven't had my reassignment surgery yet-- then talking about how the hormone injections finally took away my facial hair and gave me an amazing chest. Best. Shutdown. EVER.
so to it being a huge LIE.

SO to my friend who just said: "so i randomly just decided that if i ever am dating a guy and he dumps me because he thinks he might be gay, i'm going to ask him to date at least one more girl after me because if i turn a man gay i swear to god that would be the end of me"
i love our 3 am chats...