Best of Week 6

SO to sitting outside a Starbucks with your best friend from back home and deciding that "we just really don't like the penis." Bigger SO to the old man sitting next to us who obviously was not listening to anything through his headphones as the expression on his face when this was said changed from bemused to entirely horrified

ASO to the female poster that keeps arguing with my fiancee. I am sorry that I got drunk and flirted with you, but I have to say that there is no other person in the world for me, besides my fiancee. She is my heart and soul. So to lay this to rest. I only want my fiancee and no body else. Period. I love her with all of my heart. Not even that girl that I work with that won't stop hitting on me has a chance. So if she is reading this too, stop, I want no other woman in my life other than the ONE that I have. She is the only girl that will ever make me happy.
*WHIPCRACK*

SO to graduating a year early, and thus spending the last year in elementary school with AmeriCorps instead. That's right - while the rest of you procrastinated, wrote 40-page papers, and went to class, I was busy reading Clifford and counting to 10. Three-year-plan? Best. Choice. Ever

ASO to the 1st graders I volunteer with for sharing their oral thrush outbreak and having every doctor at Dean Urgent Care tell me I'm the only 22-year old they've ever seen with thrush. Great

"HUGE ASO to Qwest DSL being down in the entire state of Iowa and all but one of the libraries in my area being in mandatory evacuation zones... the library that isn't a hotspot. My computer is totally useless now. Even bigger ASO to not getting internet back til sometime next week at the very earliest."
ASO to you!!! you're like the chick from Heroes who can access the internet with her mind!!! crazy! not having internet but being able to post to an ONLINE BLOG

ASO to the mosquito bite ON MY ASS! trying to nonchalantly scratch that all day at work sucked

ASO to the apocalypse; Gas is $4 a gallon, half of the Midwest is underwater or tornado ravished, Colorado and California are on fire, and I can't have a goddamn tomato

ASO to the old lady who told me she thought we were really experiencing the beginning of the apocalypse because a black man may be elected president. Double ASO to being outside the wonderful liberal bubble that is Madison

ASO to the guy in the apartment behind mine who was standing on his balcony railing during the thunderstorm frantically pumping his fists in the air and screaming "OH YEAH!" then waving to me and my roommate and screaming some more. I don't know what you were on, but it was creepy, dude.

ASO to not being able to read SO's about segway guy because the semester is over--they were too great and a good laugh. anyone have any/know what he's up to these days?
fall semester i'm just going to chill at social sciences with a boombox and follow him around blasting "final countdown" on max volume

SO to blaming my dog for breaking my sister's chia pet. Unfortunately i have no idea what Really happened, due to being black out drunk. I feel this is an acceptable way to manipulate the situation

SO (or aso?) to American Apparel coming to Madison. I expect hipster frenzy (and eventual disowning after it becomes too prevalent, although it's a little late for that), confusion from sconnies, and anger from whoever posted the aso about guys in v necks. If everyone wasn't wearing it already, they will be next year

SO to wanting to send my boyfriend a Happy Father's Day card. ASO to realizing that he probably would not find it funny

huge SO to my summer Stats 301 professor for telling us today that he recently got a marriage proposal via email from a Phillipino royal (a guy) that he met in Washington, D.C. in March because California had legalized Gay Marriage. So to him for then asking us how should he respond

shout out to playing beer pong with someones grandma and having her tell us she wished they had "this game" at the senior center