SO to making the "best of" list numerous times this summer! ASO to never getting published in the herald. clearly this website is much better. SO to someone finally appreciating me!
A random post on a discussion board to comment on your favorite slice of Ian's pizza: "Ian's Philly Cheesesteak makes the power set of all permutations of all hypothetical omnipotent beings look like a lesser slice of pizza. Also, I'm a huge fan of those incredible specials. I ask with childlike innocence if all those toppings constitute a single pizza slice. Once affirmed and prepared, I readily consume the steak serenaded by its marination in cherry sauce atop an unlikely adjunction. It is very good."
ASO to my job forcing me to stay in the basement for 8 hours all the while the sun is shining on a beautiful, breezy, 70 degree day. SO to being done and getting the grass in between my toes.
ASO to my ex for not only breaking up with ME after my multiple attempts to dump him, but moreso for feeling it necessary to explain in detail why he was breaking up with me. Classy. Maybe I should explain to everyone else in detail all your bedroom shortcomings.
ASO to my idiot coworker who plugged the power strip cord into the power strip and then couldn't figure out why the computer monitor and hard drive weren't working. Sorry, but it doesn't really work that way.
SO to introducing my sister and her 3 random SOAR friends to the glory that is drinking in madison. double SO to somehow convincing one of those friends that he should buy us toppers. i feel a little bad now that i'm sober, you get a free cup at my next party.
Huge SO to living far from Wisconsin and having my sushi supplier shout "I'm from EAU CLAIRE!" I made a new friend. AND I get discounted sushi. I love you Wisconsin.
shout out to seeing the same guy i hooked up with one night at EVERY frickin bar, EVERY frickin night this summer....and every night we see each other, i'm with a different guy. i feel like a slut.
ASO to my boyfriend. First you go to South America for a month...then you come back and act all clingy, whiney and annoying. Seriously...I don't want to hear you complain about missing me...grow a pair, or just come and visit me already.
SO to Alpe d'Huez, my favorite mountain in all the world. Those 21 switchbacks, literally one million fans and some of the best cycling come Tour time NEVER disappoints...
SO to Prof. Gooding since her lectures were never a full power-lecture since she spent half of it on a tangent about cats, her significant other, or being yelled at by library security because she was in there after hours since she thinks she's better than the whole world.
Shoutout to telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up. Bigger SO to her saying "Really? I've never heard of such a thing!" Umm, how do you think people find out they have STDs...?
SO to Long Life Prayer conference in Chadbourne. You are Buddhists and yet you have gotten into more trouble than the college students. Hopefully the Dalai Lama is teaching you not to behave like this!!!
SO to the 3-year old I babysit for pointing at the pimple on my face and saying, "You have a boo-boo! We have neosporin and a band-aid if you want?"...I'd make it an ASO, but she's just too damn cute saying it.
ASO to asshole ex's. Not sure why you find it necessary to boast your single-ness post breakup by instantly writing on every girl's fb wall about how you miss them and can't wait to party with them. we're both feeling the pain, so don't be fake.
SO to the guy or girl getting high off fumes at work. this has been my summer and i think i have a hole in my brain. see u in mc burney? p.s. are u a janitor or a member of the custodial arts?
ASO to going on the Pill the week my boyfriend breaks up with me. That's just bad timing.
actually, bad timing is becoming fuck buddies with your ex and realizing that you forgot to take the pill for the last 3 days...my fingers are crossed that it's a no!
SO to finding this on the "about me" section of my Harvard friend's facebook profile: "Shout Out to introducing my friend at Harvard to Shout-outs. Can we just tack that onto the list of reasons why Madison > Ivy Leagues?"
Even bigger SO to the fact that he recognizes the truth.
"ASO to Facestalking. I seriously hate doing it, but I can't seem to stop. Maybe I like putting myself through the pain? I dunno. I'm fucked up."
facestalking? ASO to me. i feel so behind the times. i must have jumped off the abbreviation bandwagon sometime after people you may know turned into pymk...
SO to getting a text at 10:30pm on a thursday and knowing it's from the kid i babysit for. ASO to that reminding me that i need to go to bed soon. AAANNND that my life sucks because i go to sleep before a freaking 10 year old.
SO to Dark Knight being the greatest movie I have ever seen - ASO to my hometown friends for bailing on the food check - I miss my rich madison friends :(
aso to my fuck buddy. STOP PLAYING GAMES. i'm pretty sure we have a very definitive relationship...i call, you have sex with me. when the hell did the roles reverse? you have a girlfriend, i'm supposed to call the shots! and while we're at it, ignore my texts once more and you'll only be having sex with your mediocre girlfriend from then on. bitch.
Huge ASO to a 8-year old girl telling me at work that she wanted butt ties---wtf? --- even bigger ASO to the fact that that was her name for pop rocks, the failure of our education system, and the possible complications this could cause her in the future......
SO to my ridiculously adorable 7-year-old step sister who made $9 in half an hour by selling luke warm tap water in little plastic cups. I wonder how much I could sell HER for...
ASO to spicy chicken tortilla soup and half price margs. You caused me to end my night early for fear that I would throw up all over someone...stupid jalapenos.
ASO to my doctor for telling me that I am missing some protein in my stomach and cannot metabolize alcohol and should "never drink again" SO to me for rolling my eyes and explaining that I'm a 20 year old UW student who wants a second opinion.
ASO to the driest summer ever. My vag could be a desert, because it ain't getting wet anytime soon... Can't wait to get back to Wisco where the REAL men are.
SO to my ridiculously adorable 7-year-old step sister who made $9 in half an hour by selling luke warm tap water in little plastic cups. I wonder how much I could sell HER for...
SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him.
"SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him."
SO to you-- at least he's PROBABLY not engaged. This from the girl who knows about these things (read: ginger horse guy fiasco)
ASO to the Cubs for breaking my heart for 20 years. All I want is to see them win a world series before I graduate can't take the time off. I'd also like the bragging rights.
If CC, Fielder, McClung, and Gagne were in a lifeboat, how long would it take for that thing to sink? I'd give it 3.14 minutes. -3.14 minutes.. because they eat so much pi?
SO to discovering Gagne's favorite kind of "pi" is a pizza "pi" after i delivered one to him after a game
Double SO to it being an extra, extra, extra cheese and bacon pizza
SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any...
SO to these past two days. Working eleven hours in one day, ending that with FINALLY getting some action, waking up early and running a twenty-four-and-a-half minute 5K, hanging out with my niece and nephew and with a little luck macking tonight again means my life is offically full of win.
"so why do males find it necessary to slap a girls ass during sex? i mean its fun and all, but what really is the appeal?
aso to you and your vanilla tastes. so to me for yelling at guys during sex to spank me."
ASO to you for thinking that yelling at guys to spank you during sex makes you some kind of a bad ass. Throw in some requests for choking, hair pulling and being tied down and then maybe you can give a shout out to yourself for being wild in bed.
"SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him."
SO to you-- at least he's PROBABLY not engaged. This from the girl who knows about these things (read: ginger horse guy fiasco)
I thought that horse had already died and been buried. (No pun intended). Go back to living in obscurity and stop trying to get attention through shoutouts since you can't get it any other way.
ASO to my [strange] last nightmare: the batteries in my vibrator dying. The more I thought about it, this would really be problematic, considering I stole the remote batteries last time anyway.
aso to you and your vanilla tastes. so to me for yelling at guys during sex to spank me."
ASO to you for thinking that yelling at guys to spank you during sex makes you some kind of a bad ass. Throw in some requests for choking, hair pulling and being tied down and then maybe you can give a shout out to yourself for being wild in bed.
SO to my roommate who hooked me up with the best fake ever made. It's seen the light more in its 6 months than my real has in 4 years. ASO to 28 year old women who are having crisis about not being in a serious relationship and don't want to "just have fun." I think three months is pretty serious.
ASO to my bf for breaking up with me. SO to the 6 year-old boy i babysit for telling me i was the "prettiest girl" he's ever met besides his mom, and asking if i could be his girlfriend since i was dumped.
HUGE aso to having to google the summer shoutouts instead of linking to them from my laptops bookmarks
the page did not look the same and suffered a mild heart attack when i couldn't figure out how to read this weeks shoutouts so far. SO to re-gaining rationalizing skills back after said panic attack and figuring out the changed-up layout. whew.
SO to my Dad - when my brother said, "I can't believe you sold that car, I loved that car, I had sex in that car!" he replied with "with anyone else?" Oh masturbation...
ASO to finally telling my crush i like them and they completely disregard it, act like i never said it and go on casually with convo. good thing i won't be seeing you again
ASO to being single for the first time in years, and having no idea what to do about it. Currently my "liberation" activities include drinking excess amounts of terrace beer and watching strange PSAs from the 1930s at the Cinematheque. This sad existence cannot sustain me for the whole year.
aso to having sex with a guy for the past 6 months and him STILL not leaving his girlfriend for me yet. aso to me for acting like a hoe for the whole first month i knew him. first impressions are everything and no one leaves their good girl for a slut.
"SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any..."
You just keep laughing smugly to yourself all the way down to PP. I hear they give out free preggy tests and can help you find a great dr that works with your daddy's HMO.
ASO to my future roomates. We haven't even moved in yet and I already can't stand you. It's really awesome how I have no say what so ever in the decoration and how I'm getting the fucking shaft with rent, but you don't have to all be huge bitches on top of it. Anybody want a new roomate?? Cause I'm about to peace out.
"ASO to my future roomates. We haven't even moved in yet and I already can't stand you. It's really awesome how I have no say what so ever in the decoration..."
I know! I hate it when my roommates put up Cubs posters, Bud Lite beer lights, and sports illustrated swimsuit calendars without asking me first. Brewers posters, Miller Lite signs, and maxim calendar girls are much better.
Also, your bong is NOT for decoration when my parents visit. Offer the 'rents a nug once in a while, okay?
"Shoutout to telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up. Bigger SO to her saying "Really? I've never heard of such a thing!" Umm, how do you think people find out they have STDs...?"
ASO to NOT telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up and then them calling my results over the phone and having to explain to her why I might have an STD... awkward
ASO to my roommate's "ex"-bf for never leaving her or any of us alone! he's controlling, abusive, rude, and stupid and everyone knows it... and you're moving out to be with him? yikes.
"SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any..."
You just keep laughing smugly to yourself all the way down to PP. I hear they give out free preggy tests and can help you find a great dr that works with your daddy's HMO.
apparently you haven't heard of this nifty new invention called the birth control pill. it can be up to 99% effective. so sometimes you can skip the condom.
SO to the fool who decided putting a mystery box on the cap square- how did you know that mystery flaming backpacks are my favorite? Then again, ASO to you for inconveniencing my route home since the whole effing square is shut down.
ASO to my ex for doing everything possible to rub the breakup in my face. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want you showing up all over my news feed, and I certainly don't want to see you next year. You can keep my stuff.
ASO to creepers at work. NO you cannot have a hug and NO I will not "come in and hang out" in your room when I bring you towels. I work the front deak, not the corner. You're an ass.
ASO to the girl I saw at the bus stop with a shirt that exposed her midriff. I didn't have breakfast, but I really wasn't in the mood for your muffin top. Gross.
ASO to constantly agreeing to doing things I never want to because I feel bad saying no... I'm covering a shift on my only day off this week, I'm babysitting a whining baby who pukes all the time and now Mormons are trying to convert me.
ASO to my "fun and exciting" job. You were really cool for like two weeks. Then I finished everything on my to-do list and now I spend eight hours a day feeling bad about surfing the internet and playing spider solitaire. Bigger ASO to the beautiful weather right outside my window.
ASO to just confirming that dolphins do in fact rape people... SO to adding "meeting dolphin rape victim" to my list of life to-do's, right below seeing some chick with a mushroom slap wound.
SO to attempting to secretly check the shout outs during a work conference call, only to read the 'it's my money and i need it now!' shout out and spray coffee all over everyone. SO to still laughing about it 4 hours later in my cubicle.
136 comments:
ASO to my physical and breast exam being the most action I've gotten all summer.
ASO to me for not remembering that I haven't shaved my legs in a week and wearing a skirt to work today.
ASO to Prof. Gooding and her cats.
ASO to the gigantic killer bees outside of the Psych building.
SO to hoping they scare the SOAR kids that are testing in there.
SO to making the "best of" list numerous times this summer! ASO to never getting published in the herald. clearly this website is much better. SO to someone finally appreciating me!
A random post on a discussion board to comment on your favorite slice of Ian's pizza:
"Ian's Philly Cheesesteak makes the power set of all permutations of all hypothetical omnipotent beings look like a lesser slice of pizza. Also, I'm a huge fan of those incredible specials. I ask with childlike innocence if all those toppings constitute a single pizza slice. Once affirmed and prepared, I readily consume the steak serenaded by its marination in cherry sauce atop an unlikely adjunction. It is very good."
ASO to my job forcing me to stay in the basement for 8 hours all the while the sun is shining on a beautiful, breezy, 70 degree day.
SO to being done and getting the grass in between my toes.
ASO to my ex for not only breaking up with ME after my multiple attempts to dump him, but moreso for feeling it necessary to explain in detail why he was breaking up with me. Classy. Maybe I should explain to everyone else in detail all your bedroom shortcomings.
ASO to my idiot coworker who plugged the power strip cord into the power strip and then couldn't figure out why the computer monitor and hard drive weren't working. Sorry, but it doesn't really work that way.
ASO to websites that have messages like "thank you for your patience" while they're down for maintenance. What makes them think I'm being patient?
SO to finding hot second cousins at family reunions.
ASO to toeing a strange line. This would be a lot easier if I lived in Tennessee.
P.S. If I see one more casserole, I'm going to start executing endangered species.
SO to introducing my sister and her 3 random SOAR friends to the glory that is drinking in madison. double SO to somehow convincing one of those friends that he should buy us toppers. i feel a little bad now that i'm sober, you get a free cup at my next party.
Huge SO to living far from Wisconsin and having my sushi supplier shout "I'm from EAU CLAIRE!" I made a new friend. AND I get discounted sushi. I love you Wisconsin.
ASO to Prof. Gooding and her cats
this, a billion times. i dropped one of her classes in the spring after she talked about her significant other for 20 minutes in class
shout out to seeing the same guy i hooked up with one night at EVERY frickin bar, EVERY frickin night this summer....and every night we see each other, i'm with a different guy. i feel like a slut.
ASO to not being able to SIT UP from my bedroom floor for 21 hrs straight after a long night in mad-town
SO to finding my hometown's Craigslist page. Not big enough to have missed connections but they sure are looking for casual encounters!
ASO to my physical and breast exam being the most action I've gotten all summer.
ASO to still not figuring out how to make the breast exam the least awkward. Is it rude to stare or is it rude not to stare?
SO to cheesey potatoes. You are by far my favorite form of potato. Ever.
ASO to my boyfriend. First you go to South America for a month...then you come back and act all clingy, whiney and annoying. Seriously...I don't want to hear you complain about missing me...grow a pair, or just come and visit me already.
ASO to there only being 120 shout outs last week... come on people!
SO to Alpe d'Huez, my favorite mountain in all the world. Those 21 switchbacks, literally one million fans and some of the best cycling come Tour time NEVER disappoints...
Potential SO to my coworker saying she'd do me, but it'd be vaguely whoreish...does that mean I should go for it?
ASO to getting a spam email that says: "drinking beer causes blindness"... wtf?
so why do males find it necessary to slap a girls ass during sex? i mean its fun and all, but what really is the appeal?
SO to putting in my own hours at work. Gotta love going in at 11am, leaving at 130pm and getting paid for a full 8 hours!
SO to Prof. Gooding since her lectures were never a full power-lecture since she spent half of it on a tangent about cats, her significant other, or being yelled at by library security because she was in there after hours since she thinks she's better than the whole world.
Shoutout to telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up. Bigger SO to her saying "Really? I've never heard of such a thing!" Umm, how do you think people find out they have STDs...?
ASO to going on the Pill the week my boyfriend breaks up with me. That's just bad timing.
SO to having a guy slap my ass during sex. Who knows WHY it's hot, it just is. Seconded?
so or aso to inhaling so many fumes while cleaning at work today that I might still be high tomorrow.
SO to having "So Fresh, So Clean" by Outkast come up on my iPod while I was cleaning the bathroom. That really made my day.
SO to my roommate for leaving a raw chicken breast sitting in the cupboard overnight for days ...
another SO to me for eating crackers that had soaked in the juices and getting food poisoning
so why do males find it necessary to slap a girls ass during sex? i mean its fun and all, but what really is the appeal?
aso to you and your vanilla tastes. so to me for yelling at guys during sex to spank me.
SO to Long Life Prayer conference in Chadbourne. You are Buddhists and yet you have gotten into more trouble than the college students. Hopefully the Dalai Lama is teaching you not to behave like this!!!
SO to the 3-year old I babysit for pointing at the pimple on my face and saying, "You have a boo-boo! We have neosporin and a band-aid if you want?"...I'd make it an ASO, but she's just too damn cute saying it.
ASO to asshole ex's. Not sure why you find it necessary to boast your single-ness post breakup by instantly writing on every girl's fb wall about how you miss them and can't wait to party with them. we're both feeling the pain, so don't be fake.
aso to the person who said "overnight, for days".
hopefully that was just the food poisoning in your brain.
though i'd assume not, considering you ate crackers soaked in rancid chicken juice in the first place...please tell me you were high...
SO to the guy or girl getting high off fumes at work. this has been my summer and i think i have a hole in my brain. see u in mc burney?
p.s. are u a janitor or a member of the custodial arts?
ASO to going on the Pill the week my boyfriend breaks up with me. That's just bad timing.
actually, bad timing is becoming fuck buddies with your ex and realizing that you forgot to take the pill for the last 3 days...my fingers are crossed that it's a no!
SO to finding this on the "about me" section of my Harvard friend's facebook profile:
"Shout Out to introducing my friend at Harvard to Shout-outs. Can we just tack that onto the list of reasons why Madison > Ivy Leagues?"
Even bigger SO to the fact that he recognizes the truth.
ASO to people who post SO or ASO to themselves...seriously, get a life.
ASO to Facestalking. I seriously hate doing it, but I can't seem to stop. Maybe I like putting myself through the pain? I dunno. I'm fucked up.
SO to the stoplight at Doty/Broom for flashing the shocker instead of the stop hand.
ASO to it reminding me of how goddamn long it's been...
"ASO to Facestalking. I seriously hate doing it, but I can't seem to stop. Maybe I like putting myself through the pain? I dunno. I'm fucked up."
facestalking? ASO to me. i feel so behind the times. i must have jumped off the abbreviation bandwagon sometime after people you may know turned into pymk...
SO to getting a text at 10:30pm on a thursday and knowing it's from the kid i babysit for. ASO to that reminding me that i need to go to bed soon.
AAANNND that my life sucks because i go to sleep before a freaking 10 year old.
SO to Dark Knight being the greatest movie I have ever seen - ASO to my hometown friends for bailing on the food check - I miss my rich madison friends :(
ASO to learning that by naming my dog Xena, in Arabic it means adultery...and I just thought I was paying homage to the warrior princess!
aso to my fuck buddy. STOP PLAYING GAMES. i'm pretty sure we have a very definitive relationship...i call, you have sex with me. when the hell did the roles reverse? you have a girlfriend, i'm supposed to call the shots! and while we're at it, ignore my texts once more and you'll only be having sex with your mediocre girlfriend from then on. bitch.
Huge ASO to a 8-year old girl telling me at work that she wanted butt ties---wtf? --- even bigger ASO to the fact that that was her name for pop rocks, the failure of our education system, and the possible complications this could cause her in the future......
SO to my ridiculously adorable 7-year-old step sister who made $9 in half an hour by selling luke warm tap water in little plastic cups. I wonder how much I could sell HER for...
ASO to spicy chicken tortilla soup and half price margs. You caused me to end my night early for fear that I would throw up all over someone...stupid jalapenos.
SO to Don Draper. You are the definition of BAMF.
ASO to being umemployed.
SO to managing to swing my rent this month thru a combination of donating plasma and whoring myself out to the psych department.
ASO to my doctor for telling me that I am missing some protein in my stomach and cannot metabolize alcohol and should "never drink again"
SO to me for rolling my eyes and explaining that I'm a 20 year old UW student who wants a second opinion.
ASO to the driest summer ever. My vag could be a desert, because it ain't getting wet anytime soon... Can't wait to get back to Wisco where the REAL men are.
ASO to me for wanting to freak out all the SOAR parents.
SO to my ridiculously adorable 7-year-old step sister who made $9 in half an hour by selling luke warm tap water in little plastic cups. I wonder how much I could sell HER for...
ask me again in 11 years
SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him.
ASO to me for wanting to freak out all the SOAR parents.
WHY DIDN'T YOU!?! They have invariably ruined my summer at the Rathskeller and the Terrace.
"SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him."
SO to you-- at least he's PROBABLY not engaged. This from the girl who knows about these things (read: ginger horse guy fiasco)
ASO to the Cubs for breaking my heart for 20 years. All I want is to see them win a world series before I graduate can't take the time off. I'd also like the bragging rights.
ASO to partying with the rich kids from high school 2 yrs later and feeling like I was in an episode of the hills.
SO to the two guys I had a crush on both trying to get with me and the preppy girls looking like beached whales.
If CC, Fielder, McClung, and Gagne were in a lifeboat, how long would it take for that thing to sink? I'd give it 3.14 minutes.
-3.14 minutes.. because they eat so much pi?
SO to discovering Gagne's favorite kind of "pi" is a pizza "pi" after i delivered one to him after a game
Double SO to it being an extra, extra, extra cheese and bacon pizza
SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any...
SO to these past two days. Working eleven hours in one day, ending that with FINALLY getting some action, waking up early and running a twenty-four-and-a-half minute 5K, hanging out with my niece and nephew and with a little luck macking tonight again means my life is offically full of win.
SO to being a nude photography model-- If these photos show up on the internet someday and my students find them I'm going to be PROUD.
"so why do males find it necessary to slap a girls ass during sex? i mean its fun and all, but what really is the appeal?
aso to you and your vanilla tastes. so to me for yelling at guys during sex to spank me."
ASO to you for thinking that yelling at guys to spank you during sex makes you some kind of a bad ass. Throw in some requests for choking, hair pulling and being tied down and then maybe you can give a shout out to yourself for being wild in bed.
ASO to knowing that I'll go back to school and have no epic stories from this summer. That's gonna be embarrassing.
SO to the SOC. i love you and your need for 69 shoutouts.
shout-out to going to discussion and lab only and rocking my physics class.
SO to being drunk. ASO to there being NO GUYS HERE AT ALL and resorting to talking to guys on facebook chat.
"SO to meeting the most perfect guy for me at work today- attractive, nice, biochem major, plays big ten tennis. lets get married and have lots of really good tennis prodigies??
ASO to him for not having a facebook, forcing me to go oldschool and ACTUALLY call him."
SO to you-- at least he's PROBABLY not engaged. This from the girl who knows about these things (read: ginger horse guy fiasco)
I thought that horse had already died and been buried. (No pun intended). Go back to living in obscurity and stop trying to get attention through shoutouts since you can't get it any other way.
ASO to my summer being one epic fail after another. I suck.
SO to the ginger horse fiasco being the highlight of the summer shoutouts thus far
so to my dad telling everyone who tried to park in front of us at the drive in that those speakers were broken.
aso to having to say it 20 times.
ASO to my [strange] last nightmare: the batteries in my vibrator dying. The more I thought about it, this would really be problematic, considering I stole the remote batteries last time anyway.
aso to you and your vanilla tastes. so to me for yelling at guys during sex to spank me."
ASO to you for thinking that yelling at guys to spank you during sex makes you some kind of a bad ass. Throw in some requests for choking, hair pulling and being tied down and then maybe you can give a shout out to yourself for being wild in bed.
aso to you for assuming i don't do those things.
SO to my roommate who hooked me up with the best fake ever made. It's seen the light more in its 6 months than my real has in 4 years. ASO to 28 year old women who are having crisis about not being in a serious relationship and don't want to "just have fun." I think three months is pretty serious.
SO to McD's iced coffee. You're the only thing thats kept me alive and alert for the past 3 days.
ASO to thinking I only had one arm this morning and then realizing my other one was just really numb from sleeping on it - whoops!
SO to the stoplight at Doty/Broom for flashing the shocker instead of the stop hand.
Does any girl really enjoy the shocker, REALLY? didn't think so.
ASO to tequila for making my clothes fall off and making me act like a whore.
ASO to my bf for breaking up with me. SO to the 6 year-old boy i babysit for telling me i was the "prettiest girl" he's ever met besides his mom, and asking if i could be his girlfriend since i was dumped.
HUGE aso to having to google the summer shoutouts instead of linking to them from my laptops bookmarks
the page did not look the same and suffered a mild heart attack when i couldn't figure out how to read this weeks shoutouts so far. SO to re-gaining rationalizing skills back after said panic attack and figuring out the changed-up layout. whew.
SO to my Dad - when my brother said, "I can't believe you sold that car, I loved that car, I had sex in that car!" he replied with "with anyone else?" Oh masturbation...
ASO to finally telling my crush i like them and they completely disregard it, act like i never said it and go on casually with convo. good thing i won't be seeing you again
ASO to being single for the first time in years, and having no idea what to do about it. Currently my "liberation" activities include drinking excess amounts of terrace beer and watching strange PSAs from the 1930s at the Cinematheque. This sad existence cannot sustain me for the whole year.
ASO to fuck buddies who rub other women in your face. Fuck you bitch. At least you're moving.
aso to having sex with a guy for the past 6 months and him STILL not leaving his girlfriend for me yet. aso to me for acting like a hoe for the whole first month i knew him. first impressions are everything and no one leaves their good girl for a slut.
"SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any..."
You just keep laughing smugly to yourself all the way down to PP. I hear they give out free preggy tests and can help you find a great dr that works with your daddy's HMO.
ASO to my future roomates. We haven't even moved in yet and I already can't stand you. It's really awesome how I have no say what so ever in the decoration and how I'm getting the fucking shaft with rent, but you don't have to all be huge bitches on top of it. Anybody want a new roomate?? Cause I'm about to peace out.
SO to being a Cubs fan going to the Chicago-Milwaukee game at Miller Park. I fully intend to defend my team and will laugh my way to victory.
SO to the stoplight at Doty/Broom for flashing the shocker instead of the stop hand.
Does any girl really enjoy the shocker, REALLY? didn't think so.
YES!
SO to having dinner with my family and having to explain to mom what "crunk" and i'll be the big spoon" mean
ASO to the dead badger I saw on the side of the road. I'm sure Bucky cried a few tears this weekend, then mourned the little guy with a few beers.
SO to the wackest hoes in madison...709!
ASO to acid trips at the KK. I swear there were people actually having sex on the dance floor. Damns girls get some self respect!
ASO to it being a thousand million degrees in my apartment.
Double Anti Shoutout for just making a tree diagram of that sentence.
Triple Anti Shoutout for diagramming it wrong and realizing I'm really fucked for my midterm tomorrow.
"ASO to my future roomates. We haven't even moved in yet and I already can't stand you. It's really awesome how I have no say what so ever in the decoration..."
I know! I hate it when my roommates put up Cubs posters, Bud Lite beer lights, and sports illustrated swimsuit calendars without asking me first. Brewers posters, Miller Lite signs, and maxim calendar girls are much better.
Also, your bong is NOT for decoration when my parents visit. Offer the 'rents a nug once in a while, okay?
"Shoutout to telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up. Bigger SO to her saying "Really? I've never heard of such a thing!" Umm, how do you think people find out they have STDs...?"
ASO to NOT telling my mother that my gyno did an STD test while I was at my check-up and then them calling my results over the phone and having to explain to her why I might have an STD... awkward
ASO to me for having a crush on my 16 year old cousins best friend because i am single and desperate...bring me back to Madison, NOW!
ASO to my roommate's "ex"-bf for never leaving her or any of us alone! he's controlling, abusive, rude, and stupid and everyone knows it... and you're moving out to be with him? yikes.
aso to reading the shout outs people write to their fuck buddies, and then worrying that we have the same fuck buddy :(
"ASO to acid trips at the KK. I swear there were people actually having sex on the dance floor. Damns girls get some self respect!"
the damn guys could get some self respect too.. why is it the girls who need the self respect all the time?!
ASO to having a chick subletter. my naked time is virtually gone with you here.
SO to partying it up on my birthday. ASO to not having enough money to get schwasted!
"SO to my boyfriend's roommate who counted my boyfriend's condom supply before and after i visited and then asked why none where missing. seriously?? little does he know that we were too busy gettin' it on all over the kitchen table that we didn't stop to use any..."
You just keep laughing smugly to yourself all the way down to PP. I hear they give out free preggy tests and can help you find a great dr that works with your daddy's HMO.
apparently you haven't heard of this nifty new invention called the birth control pill. it can be up to 99% effective. so sometimes you can skip the condom.
just a question... where are we with the shoutout shirts?
ASO to sriking out with the last 4 girls Ive been with. I swear to god, if this dry spell keeps up for too long, im switching to men.
SO to finally getting a day off work next week. ASO to the oral surgeon for having an opening to pull my wisdom teeth that day. I'd rather be at work.
ASO to having a chick subletter. my naked time is virtually gone with you here.
...why does this stop you???
SO to the fool who decided putting a mystery box on the cap square- how did you know that mystery flaming backpacks are my favorite? Then again, ASO to you for inconveniencing my route home since the whole effing square is shut down.
ASO to my ex for doing everything possible to rub the breakup in my face. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want you showing up all over my news feed, and I certainly don't want to see you next year. You can keep my stuff.
ASO to creepers at work. NO you cannot have a hug and NO I will not "come in and hang out" in your room when I bring you towels. I work the front deak, not the corner. You're an ass.
SO to the Cubs fans at Monday night's game. That kind of enthusiasm makes me glad I drove all the way up from FIBville
ASO to the girl I saw at the bus stop with a shirt that exposed her midriff. I didn't have breakfast, but I really wasn't in the mood for your muffin top. Gross.
SO to the mama duck and baby duckies I saw crossing State on Johnson. You were so cute and made me smile! Hopefully no one ran you over...
ASO to ugly girls who tag hundreds of pictures of themselves under the false impression that they are attractive. Facebook doesn't need to see that.
"ASO to sriking out with the last 4 girls Ive been with. I swear to god, if this dry spell keeps up for too long, im switching to men."
Us gays are here to support you, man. I'd be glad to discuss any problems you may have.
ASO to constantly agreeing to doing things I never want to because I feel bad saying no... I'm covering a shift on my only day off this week, I'm babysitting a whining baby who pukes all the time and now Mormons are trying to convert me.
I suck at life.
ASO to the Cubs and all their stupid fans taking over Miller Park. Zambrano is ugly... so there.
SO to the Cubs at Miller Park. It doesn't matter if Zambrano is ugly... he still kicked the Brewers' asses
ASO to my "fun and exciting" job. You were really cool for like two weeks. Then I finished everything on my to-do list and now I spend eight hours a day feeling bad about surfing the internet and playing spider solitaire. Bigger ASO to the beautiful weather right outside my window.
ASO to not having a fuck buddy.
and now Mormons are trying o convert me
tell them you're a Jehovah's Witness, they'll back right off.
ASO to Austria. those guys messed everything up.
ASO to getting so drunk that I fell into a load of thorns and couldn't get out for half an hour.
SO to the only person who saw being so drunk themselves that they forgot almost instantly.
ASO to being so drunk that I then called up the guy I like and informed him of my drunken falling into thorns.
I guess once the scratches heal I'll have to find someone else to go see Batman with...
ryan braun has bug eyes. IN YOUR FACE.
ASO to everybody with a fuckbuddy. Fornication is a sin and y'all are going to hell, ya hear!?
aso to buying plan b.
bigger aso to the pharmacist telling me to have a nice day. i dont think so.
ASO to just confirming that dolphins do in fact rape people...
SO to adding "meeting dolphin rape victim" to my list of life to-do's, right below seeing some chick with a mushroom slap wound.
SO to attempting to secretly check the shout outs during a work conference call, only to read the 'it's my money and i need it now!' shout out and spray coffee all over everyone. SO to still laughing about it 4 hours later in my cubicle.
SO to Favre having his own heading on espn...MBL, NASCAR, NFL, FAVRE
the way it should have been for years.
ASO to being the wild one in a long distance relationship. someone needs to tell my square boyfriend that a little phone sex never hurt anyone.
ASO to philly not having a noodles and co, where am i supposed to eat when i tire of wawa hoagies?
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