Week 10 Superstars

SO to the lifeguards at the waterpark where I work. Watching you chase after scattered "fecal matter" in the pool with nets has been one of the more hilarious moments of my summer. I do not envy you...

ASO to our Scrabble game last night. My friend and I had the epic opportunity to play "vagina" twice on one board, only to have it f*ed up by my brother

ASO to not being able to take shots. SO to practicing with ice cold water in dixie cups...Let's face it, we go to Wisconsin, its equally, if not more important than studying

SO to having sex instead of running tonight because I get a better cardio workout

ASO to me, I am the most pitiful franchise in baseball, and am only followed by fat, useless cocksuckers from the north side of the windy city. I wish someone would put me out of my misery.
-Oooh! Oooh! I know this one, Alex! Who are... the Chicago Cubs!

anti shout-out to walk of shaming home at 6:45am to the equinox and running into the cleaning lady, with whom i'm on a first-name basis. she tried to cover up her surprised "oh" by telling me about today's forecast (because she's so super nice) but i couldn't even look her in the eye because of how guilty i felt for her to now know what a bad girl i am

SO to thinking in shoutouts when i see cool shit happening

SO to the guy sitting behind me on the bus talking to himself about killing people in 1988 and the police finding dead bodies in the trunk of his car after he'd shot them twice. i need a car

SO to checking my e-mail at a sketchy European internet cafe to find out whether I got football tickets. Double SO to frightening some backpacking Slovenians with my victory dance, and being completely unable to explain the glory that is Wisconsin football to them

ASO to Farve changing his mind more than a 4 year old at Baskin Robins

shout-out to being a girl and living in a frat next year. walks of shame will be so much shorter!

SO to coming back to madison for the weekend, hooking up with 2 ex's and smoking some of the dankest buds ive ever seen. God i love this town.

If CC, Fielder, McClung, and Gagne were in a lifeboat, how long would it take for that thing to sink? I'd give it 3.14 minutes.
-3.14 minutes.. because they eat so much pi?

SO to my roommate who left behind two fridges, a perfect table for mixing drinks, and a mostly empty room for my one and only kegger this summer! ASO to him randomly coming back with his family the morning after to finish emptying his room, only to discover two fridges full of booze, his table glossed over in liquor, and a futon mattress complete with condom wrappers next to it

Friends don't let friend shout out drunk

SO to the anti-drug commercial where the kid builds a cocoon of pot and emerges a bald loser. If I had enough pot to build a cocoon...

"Um, he's a sprinter on the track team and a business major. SO to that."
-You know what they say about sprinters, they always finish in under fifteen seconds...