alright it seems like moderating the shoutouts is working out well, so we'll keep doing it.
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a summer shout out page till the badger herald brings em back!
153 comments:
ASO to the herald for promising Shoutouts and then failing to deliver.
SO to my hot coastie friend. Here's hoping we get a chance for a drunken hookup early next year!
ASO to my hot coastie friend's boyfriend, for obvious reasons. He's a dick and doesn't deserve you, yo.
dear victoria's secret,
you supply me with new undies when i just can't bring myself to do the laundry. the panties always run out first, but you've taught me that may not be such a bad thing at all!
signed,
loving my new thongs
ASO to all the love-y dove-y posts about perfect guys and relationships....i really hope my boyfriend doesnt think i'm writing those b/c they'd really freak him out.....you're probably freaking yours out too!
Okay. ASO to being sick. I had strep for finals week, that then turned into a nasty cold, that is now pink eye. In both eyes. Seriously, do I even have an immune system anymore?
ASO to my lungs.
Thanks for failing on me and forcing me to quit smoking.
ASO to my lymph nodes for being so grossly enlarged that they're VISIBLE FROM 10 FEET AWAY. SO to gritting my teeth and telling my friends I like being called Frankenstein. Don't worry, I'll get them back once this raging sinus infection goes away.
SO to graduation parties with kegs, jungle boccie ball and watching my best friends cousin face plant off a bike ramp.
SO to not having classes and drinking allllll daaaay looooooooong.
SO to having my best gpa of college this semester while having put in the least amount of work. if i had known avoiding the library and drinking on wednesdays would get me on the dean's list, i would have tried it looong ago.
SO to summer....heres hoping that i find a guy that interested in some wild, respectful sex...
SO to returning to madison in less than a month. ASO to it being for a underage ticket I got my 2nd to last day before I went home. Damn you Jake and your .18
aso to knowing he isn't interested but all the same wanting to tell him.. which requires agonizing waiting for the right time to bring it up.
SO to not getting any all semester but then coming home and hooking up with my high school fantasy the first party of summer.
"SO to not having classes and drinking allllll daaaay looooooooong."
SO to your liver. It's gonna need all the encouragement it can get :)
ASO to wrecking my car into a semi at 70mph after falling asleep at the wheel while driving home after finals. SO to being alive.
"Okay. ASO to being sick. I had strep for finals week, that then turned into a nasty cold, that is now pink eye. In both eyes. Seriously, do I even have an immune system anymore?"
SO to this anti-shoutout (and all the others about bad health)! i can't even explain the extent to which i sympathize with you. i don't remember the last time i wasn't sick with some kind of strange ailment. we should form a poor immune system club!
ASO to having to get a real job this summer. I haven't smoked in over a month, can you just hire me and give me a drug test already?!
ASO to the 4 1/2 yr senior i'm doing...if you'd like to keep having amazing sex with me i suggest you respond to all my texts. even those that i send before 1:30am. you're old enough that you should know better.
aso to having nothing to do for the first part of summer and noone to do in all my free time :(
ASO to having a dream that I forgot to take a final for a class I didn't realize I was taking. Worst nightmare EVER.
ASO to the bitch who called the cops on me for accidently parking in the wrong spot when there were clearly other spots available and then leaving me a note saying "get the fuck out of my spot".
SO to whoever slaps a bitch
"ASO to me for never telling that friend of mine how I really felt about her all year because I was afraid of losing her as a friend."
ASO to friendship. It's so over-rated. Tell me already and we can get beyond this friendship bullshit and get to the fun stuff...
ASO to getting screwed on hours. you know, it might have been more useful to tell us you had lots of people on the schedule over the summer like three months ago instead of NOW so we could look for a second job when it was actually possible.
now I'm making even *less* money because I'm killing all of my new free time with weed and GTA4
"ASO to having to get a real job this summer. I haven't smoked in over a month, can you just hire me and give me a drug test already?!"
SO to you, good friend. I know exactly what you're going through. Mary Jane and I have been all too distant for all too long.
ASO to awkward encounters with people I don't remember from house parties and clubs. No, I don't remember you. Stop asking. And yes, I know we made out. That was the Fleischmann's talking, not me.
ASO to the facebook minifeed not allowing me to delete people from it
BIGGER ASO to the minifeed for telling me every guy my ex has been with
Even bigger ASO to to the people you may know section telling me I should friend them.
But SO to me for having some resemblance of dignity and alcohol.
SO to Christy Cheung. Your unsecured wireless network is getting me through plenty of hard times.
SO to whoever is taking Econ w/me. I propose we have plenty of study sessions that revolve around the supply and demand of alcohol.
ASO to grades being due yesterday but still aren't up!
ASO to my brother for making the wireless internet at home drag due to his constant xbox live usage.
ASO to shoutouts not being posted fast enough. Ugh. Seriously? Seriously.
ASO to drunk texting. You have lost me many of potential boyfriends. SO to gaining me some good drunken sex that I wouldn't have had the guts to ask for without you.
ASO to all the SOs about being sick. Seriously, like 5 in one day? What ever happened to the moderating preventing repetitive posts? Rule of thumb: less sick, more sex
SO to talking to the hot dilf who used to go to Madison. I'll def. take you up on your offer to hit up the bars with me next time you're in town.
"ASO to having a dream that I forgot to take a final for a class I didn't realize I was taking. Worst nightmare EVER."
SO to you. I have this same nightmare every time finals come and go. It's terrifying.
Huge SO to grey's anatomy! You kept me from jumping off a cliff when I came home from work today.
SO the macy's perfume ladies for letting me have a sample of my guy's cologne so i can be reminded of him while he's away. the 5 minutes of slightly embarrassing and awkward begging was totally worth it, mmmm
so to blumpkins. 'nuff said
ASO to people writing things on walls when they probably shouldn't; I have a news feed too!
SO to Chocolate Fest this weekend. My town has chocolate AND Tony Romo.
SO to high-waisted shorts being the best diet ever.
If that SO is about Econ 102, I'll take you up on that whole get drunk thing... My quick analysis of the costs and benefits says the opportunity cost is a 24 pack.
Anti shout out to the D bag who stole my bike today. It was missing a pedal... how was it useful to you? Burn in hell.
ASO at working at an ice cream place and having the ice cream machine shoot vanilla soft serve into my eyes and all over my clothes, making it looking like five guys just came all over me.
ASO to being so hungry that I eat a whole pizza, wait 20 minutes, then feel like I want to cut my entire stomach out of my body.
ASO to having hot wild sex and spooning all year and then not calling me this summer...ouch!
"dear victoria's secret,
you supply me with new undies when i just can't bring myself to do the laundry. the panties always run out first, but you've taught me that may not be such a bad thing at all!
signed,
loving my new thongs"
SO to you! thanks for the flowery pink ones! that was a good night!
ASO to sharing the home computer with my high-school age younger brother. Why is the mouse so goddamn sticky?
ASO to hoping that some guy will sweep me off my feet and tell me im perfect. i know, i know. it wont happen. college has shown me that most guys = assholes.
ASO to those who read shout outs and automatically ASSUME that they were posted by people they KNOW! (If I have something to say, I'll tell you myself. If you feel sure I wrote some bs shout out about you, ASK ME! instead of assuming that I did and thinking that I'm an asshole. If you're reading this, and think that person could possibly be YOU, CONTACT that other person RIGHT NOW! and clear all this bullshit up!!! Thank You.)
aso to soy milk. i know its my fault you ended up in my scrambled eggs, but you still ruined them.
SO to finding out I can delete the people you may know list on facebook. ASO to spending 5 minutes doing it... every other day. Seriously, I don't care who all is on my friends' friends-list. There was obviously a reason I didn't want befriend them in high school.
ASO to watching my GPA slowly drop this semester because of "poor attendance". I was on crutches for 10 weeks during the winter we got 100" of snow... 10" of which were actually cleared off the sidewalks. HUGE ASO to asshole profs and TAs... like hell I'm going to go outside with 2 sticks holding me up in that shit you dips.
"ASO at working at an ice cream place and having the ice cream machine shoot vanilla soft serve into my eyes and all over my clothes, making it looking like five guys just came all over me."
SO to you giving Five Guys on State Street another idea for a new Burger Sauce
ASO to the retard who thinks its cool her town has Tony Romo. You are a dumb dumb broad who obviously knows nothing.
ASO to job hunting. It's like getting rejected over and over and over again. I don't need anything long term! I just need a summer fling! Why are your standards so high?
so to my ex-boyfriend becoming my summer hookup
aso to his brother almost walking in on us
ASO to wishing you were in Madison just so you would have a job and not have your mom bothering you about getting one over the summer.
ASO to filling up a gas tank for the first time in 2 years.
ASO to choosing to take a job back home because it pays better than my job back in Madison.... but in Madison, I could WALK to work.
ASO to not finding a new job this summer. Now I have another three months of folding towels and edging soap dispensers...ooo when does school start?
SO to summer nights..long necks and my best friends. Who could ask for more?!
SO to FINALLY having sex again. The wait may have sucked, but was definately worth it. Be prepared new f-buddy, I'm going to rock your world.
All.
Summer.
Long.
ASO to spending the first month of summer studying for the LSAT....damn you logic games!
SO to never knowing I could be so attracted to Asian men. Asian women I know you don't want them, but Jamie I will do you!
ASO to my boyfriend for breaking up with me. SO to me for seeing it coming and already having a rebound relationship lined up. Goodbye constant drama, hello summer fling.
SO to summer. I love being able to drink all day and not having to worry about school. ASO to this being my first summer single in 3 years. I am seriously sex deprived people, i don't know if i can last three months!
ASO to the girl that rejected me. It's not ok to keep calling me, or to keep on asking for favors. Especially since I am still crazy about you and powerless to resist.
You're so vain. You probably think this shout-out's about you.
SO to the creepy-ass audio captchas that blogger plays if you click that wheelchair icon next to the word verification. I hope to god if I go blind I don't have to sit through a bunch of fucking babbling backwards gibberish every time I want to make fun of someone.
ASO to gas taking half my paycheck... fun shit...
ASO to craigslist... selling my 20mpg lexus in 2 hours!!!
ASO to craigslist to finding me a new car 2 hours later!!!
ASO to me for telling people at the campground I work at to come back in the morning to finish checking in so I didn't have to deal with them, then realizing that I am in fact the morning person who will have to deal with the tourists' bullshit.
SO to hookah.
SO to discovering your love for almost ALL foreign engineering grad students this year...ASO to them all going back home for the summer - is the Dominican Republic really paradise in comparison to all the crazy nights you could have had here? I think not...
SO to finding out that the ex who cheated on me last year is about to become a dad. She's 7 years older than you are and your little boy is about to become her third son by as many fathers. Enjoy.
ASO to my long distance relationship working all school year and getting instantly complicated when i moved back home and he stayed at school.
ASO to not knowing how to write HTML code. SO to trying to figure it out while hopelessly lost in the blog of the Summer Shoutouts
ASO to girls in general. What the hell happened to you not thinking someone was cute unless he was a good guy too? So very unfair to switch standards without telling me.
SO to sailing. Major SO.
ASO to our douchebag neighbors calling our landlord on a parking spot we use, then not even using the spot for themselves.
SO to our neighbors for giving us free internet though. We love crashing your network with our PS3s.
ASO to the worst thing about home, parents. I mean, seriously, 'Don't leave your shit lying on the floor,' 'Put the dishes away,' 'GET A JOB!' Are you kidding me? Nagging AS SOON as I walk into the door? Excuse me for having my brain turned to mush after a long and tiresome two weeks of studying and exams. Stupid Parents.
what if we all pitched in $1 to the summer shoutout controller for being amazing? $2613 is pretty good for 3 months of reading our shit.
SO to my summer job running amusement park rides
ASO to akwardly looking at peoples' crotches making sure they have their seatbelts on.
ASO to my neighbor's megaphone. I don't know why you have one in the first place, but please keep it away from your drunk friends.
SO to the beautiful sunset on the terrace tonight!
ASO to the "Say Bye to the Muffin Top" add that shows up everytime I log onto facebook...are you trying to tell me something?
ASO for actually having to filter my body actions now that I'm back home. Where did all my school hookups go? I swear there's like 3 decent looking guys available.
huge effin ASO to realizing that im in love with my ex during the school year, coming home hoping that i could maybe show him that i was stupid to dump him and him completely denying me.
SO to my friends joking about my ex's head being huge and me refraining from commenting that it compensates for the other.
"what if we all pitched in $1 to the summer shoutout controller for being amazing? $2613 is pretty good for 3 months of reading our shit."
Are you the sSO controller? Cause dude, that's not exactly being subliminal
ASO for not getting my dream job in LA this summer by not passing the drug test, its not my fault i was drunk and didnt know it wasnt a "cigarette" damn....
ASO to all the people buying patio furniture memorial day weekend and giving us attitude when we don't have it.
So tempted to say "I'm sorry, that grill was bought by someone who had the foresight to pick it up more than two days before they needed it..."
Also retail in general.
aso to hooking up an hour into a party and missing the entire thing... poor timing... and poor judgement
Badgerherald, you're a liar.
Huge SO to getting a $5/hr raise and not knowing about it until i got my paycheck. Even bigger SO to thinking of it as free money and spending it on weed then having one hell of a weekend.
SO to STD motor oil for 1: having an unfortunate name and 2: not wording their radio ad right and telling you to go out and buy STD filters. You were a bright spot while I spent my morning-after hangover bonding with my toilet. Too bad the laughing made me throw up again.
ASO to finding out two hours ago that my "fine art" (nude) modeling pics are circulating around the world... and that everyone from back home has already seen them.
I.
Am.
Screwed.
shout out to getting road head
anti-shoutout to getting a ticket for indecent exposure
shout out to the cop blatanly jealous and checking out my girlfriend!
ASO to going home this weekend to visit the folks (aka do laundry) and then having your parents tell you that you'll have to stay the week because they can't take you back. I can't take the Badger Bus back either because of the shit-ton of laundry and no I didn't bring a suitcase. Wow! This blows...
SO to my roommate's underage sister. There isn't enough Dial to get those dirty thoughts out of my mind. I'm sure our other roommate is right there with me.
SO to fleischmann's punishment shots for making that random make-out session oh-so-memorable. (or not at all.)
ASO to my parents telling me that they'll cut me off if they find out I'm sleeping with my bf.
I guess I'm literally and figuratively fucked..
ASO to already wanting school to start again because my job sucks so much. also ASO to not even having time to have a summer fling this yr since i'm doing manual labor 40+ hrs a wk
ASO to the first week off of school which has included massive allergies, bronchitis to the point of losing voice for 5 days as of now, and my car going to "car heaven." I only hope it gets better...
ASO to being a girl with a major hip injury. The fact that the doctor specifically said "no sex for the next 8 months" makes my life that much more depressing. ASO to being totally frustrated and not having vibrators and porn do the trick. SO to it potentially being the most pleasurable New Year's Eve of my LIFE.
SO to my parents for being totally cool about me coming home the day after with a major hangover. ASO to them laughing at me everytime they saw me laying on the couch like a limp noodle. Makes me wonder what they'd do if they knew what really happened that night....
HUGE ASO to the shoutout controller. Seriously the power has gone to your head and you are just as slow as the BH one!
SO to the summer shoutout controllers. You guys are my heros. While I'm stuck in the middle of an Iowa corn field so far from my beloved Madison, you make my life bearable. Thank you!
Is it a walk of shame if you're walking home from your boyfriend's house?
"ASO to hoping that some guy will sweep me off my feet and tell me im perfect. i know, i know. it wont happen. college has shown me that most guys = assholes."
Agreed. And i'm supposed to meet my husband here? wtf?!
ASO to moderation. the amount of shoutouts has steadily gone down...take off moderation and i'm sure we'd shout it out a hell of a lot more!
SO to my new best friend who puked out his nose during a game of boat races. nicely done sir.
ASO to missing Madison even tho I live 30 minutes away! Gas is expensive and I have to drive home at the end of the night BOO!
ASO to crushing on my EX's not really friend. Unfortunately you are living with him next year, and I HATE him, and Wont come near your place. Its truly unfortunate beyond belief.
ASO to the worst domesticated animal in history: cats. Does a more worthless or selfish species exist? I've had cats my entire life but just realized they've never done anything for me while they enjoy a warm house, food, and a clean litter box. I wish I could atleast get cheesed out of my fucking skull from it. SO to South Park
shoutout to my fuckbuddy who insisted to me that we couldn't be in a relationship getting pissed that i hooked up with someone else. make up your mind, either we're together or i can do whomever i want. and i'm not sure i have a preference either way...
ASO to listening to my friend constantly complain about still being a virgin. Seriously, at almost 26, I wouldn't shoot for a long term relationship anymore. With the way you look, I'd go for whatever drunken hookup I could get.
ASO to having Mondays off. I ended up shopping and spending money this Memorial Day while my coworker made 5.5% commission on $7000 worth of furniture sales.
SO to deciding to finally bring my car to school after 4 years of going without and getting in a car accident on the way to Mad Town. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
SO to mastering HTML tags. Never before has my own typing annoyed me.
<<"ASO to hoping that some guy will sweep me off my feet and tell me im perfect. i know, i know. it wont happen. college has shown me that most guys = assholes."
Agreed. And i'm supposed to meet my husband here? wtf?!>>
Maybe you're not looking in the right places. We nice guys exist, it's just up to you to find one of us before we get taken!
ASO to the creepy man-whore from my high school who won't leave me alone. i don't want to hang out with you. you are nothing compared to madison guys.
ASO to the facebook newsfeed. Knowing that my hot "one-that-got-away" ex-boyfriend is now dating an adorable girl from the Ivy League college I didn't get into is just dandy. Facebook ruins lives.
shout out to finally playing flip cup with my dad at my brothers wedding
bigger shout out to my bro for marrying the love of his life
SO to meeting a girl at my lakehouse who i am totally infatuated with.
ASO to "wingman'ing" her for my friend because i was too afraid / shy to say anything...
Bigger ASO to never seeing her again in my life because she was only visiting the lakehouse once (it's her friends), never to return
I guess nice guys really do finish last
"ASO for not getting my dream job in LA this summer by not passing the drug test, its not my fault i was drunk and didnt know it wasnt a "cigarette" damn...."
Uhhh I smoked three days before my "random" drug test and passed. You really must've enjoyed the hell out of that fatty.
ASO to all my hookups leaving Madison and boredom and my overactive imagination kicking in. AHHHHHHHH!!!
SO to losing weight during summer. ASO to having none of the dresses I tried on fit me because everyone here is so big. ASO to having the woman in the store stuff the boob area.
HUGE ASO to getting my 4 impacted wisdom teeth taken out and spending the last week alone on the couch while my friends are out drinking. also ASO to percocet, it's really not that great.
ASO to internships. not only has my weekend shrunk from 3 days back to 2 days, but i can no longer take random nights off during the week to go drink.
ASO to procrastinating with making a move on girls in my classes all semester.
"ASO to having none of the dresses I tried on fit me because everyone here is so big."
Don't blame WI for your inability to read the tag that *gasp* has the dress size printed on it.
ASO to getting pulled over and losing your bag of weed, box of condoms and bottle of captain. So much for that hot date.
Oh, and ASO to the DWI and going to jail too. That sorta sucked as well.
SO to these supposed good guys. Where are you hiding?!
SO to losing my student id, the batteries to my camera, one sandal, a pair of aviators, and my dignity on my 21st birthday. best birthday ever? i think so.
SO to my professor in class today stating he wants to take shots with Hillary Clinton because, "Tequila makes her clothes fall off."
ASO to Pel' Meni closing down. Now I have no practical alternative of getting food and avoiding the ridiculous lines at Taco Bell and Qdoba after the bars break loose.
anti shout-out to being so bored, i clicked on an ad in order to "tickle the fat kid 'til he pukes." fat kid, i am so sorry for making you puke.
ASO to losing my mind from boredom and missing Madison.
SO to visiting Madison this weekend. I just hope I remember some of the visit.
"Don't blame WI for your inability to read the tag that *gasp* has the dress size printed on it."
ASO to people like you. Get out of your little box of America. The rest of the world doesn't have American sizing. A size 4 in the US is about a size 36 european, and they don't run that small in all stores in my country because most of the people here are 10/12s. WI has international students. Please stop trying to act smart when you're really an ignorant idiot.
ASO to ignoring my cold to the point that it became a sinus infection and then tonsilitis. OK, OK, next time I'll go to the doctor! Christ.
ASO to Pel' Meni closing down. Now I have no practical alternative of getting food and avoiding the ridiculous lines at Taco Bell and Qdoba after the bars break loose.
If this is true, then... serious, major ASO to my favorite restaurant closing and having to find out through the SOs... I knew I should have stayed in Madison for the summer, if only for one last chance to eat the shadiest, most delicious dumplings ever. RIP, Pel'meni.
aso to the UW id office for raising their price to $25.
If my new bike gets stolen, I will start punting babies... and puppies too.
Shoutout to the Lady with the cowbell on Sunday during the marathon. Seriously I love you! It was awesome that you were in three different locations during the race. 'Cause I needed some cowbell :)
ASO/SO to giving head for the first time at age 20. damn, i sucked.
shoutout to finding out about your roommates random hookups via shoutouts. story time or it's more punishment shots for you!
SO to a killer Summerfest line up. I can't spend every day on the lakefront, but lord how I want to...
ASO to not knowing exactly how I'll manage to get alcohol, but SO to the planning stages of my most dastardly underage drinking scheme ever.
SO to summer in Madison. it really doesn't get any better than the terrace with a pitcher of spotted cow
ASO to my glamorous lifestyle picking up dog poop in the backyard.
Even bigger ASO to poison ivy.
ASO to driving into my home town and seeing a tan old man doing yard work in only his black jock strap. Madison, how i miss you so much.
SO to the underage Summerfest person. i felt your pain for years, and i can probably help you out. 1. put alcohol in ziploc bags and tape them securely to your stomach under a baggy/empire-waisted shirt. 2. bring in a bottle of water(they let you if it's unopened) 3. dump it out in the bathroom 4. transfer booze. it's actually kinda sad how good i got at that.
SO to being legal at summerfest now!!!
"SO to the underage Summerfest person. i felt your pain for years, and i can probably help you out. 1. put alcohol in ziploc bags and tape them securely to your stomach under a baggy/empire-waisted shirt. 2. bring in a bottle of water(they let you if it's unopened) 3. dump it out in the bathroom 4. transfer booze. it's actually kinda sad how good i got at that.
SO to being legal at summerfest now!!!"
SO to you now being my favorite person ever.
"ASO to people like you. Get out of your little box of America. The rest of the world doesn't have American sizing. A size 4 in the US is about a size 36 european, and they don't run that small in all stores in my country because most of the people here are 10/12s. WI has international students. Please stop trying to act smart when you're really an ignorant idiot."
i'm a size zero, have lived in wisconsin my whole life and have never had a problem finding clothes that fit. and most of the people here are NOT 10/12s, don't stereotype us.
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